Reflections on the Verdict

When people ask how we are doing in regards to the trial, my standard answer is "We are still processing it." I like that. It shows hope, or at least not despair, but also a little elusive. It is also true. Because we not just reacting on a strong emotion, but working through a process of our transformation.

Before this experience, I use to think that God used trials and tragedy to teach us. And that is true at a literal level. But teaching is what my college professors would do, throw a bunch of facts at me and leave it up to me to catch them and remember them. Teaching implies you decide if you want to accept the information. Trials, true trials, trials from the hand of the sovereign Triune God, are more than teaching moments. They are transforming moments. Transforming is something you don't really decided to act on or not. It happens from within and you can't stop it. You don't decide to accept certain facts or not. You entire way of thinking it revolutionized as your mind is different than before.

Another challenge with being transformed is that we don't know exactly what we are being transformed into. Frankly, I have no idea how different Shannon and I will find ourselves. Will we be more mature and wiser? Will we have a deeper compassion for others? Will we have a greater joy for each precious moment we have? Will we have a greater peace in life because we know life is short but eternity in heaven is much, much longer?

I don't know, and that is tough. That is the difference between teaching and transformation. With teaching, you have an idea of what you will learn and be able to do before the lesson is complete. With transformation, you don't get a blueprint of your new makeup. So we are left with faith. Faith that God knows what he is doing, that he has not abandoned us, nor is he surprised with our condition and response. Faith that he can indeed cause all of this to work together for good because we believe in him.

So as I finishing typing this post, I know not how Shannon and I will find up. I only know that we must keep the faith and we must keep doing the things we are suppose to do regardless of our circumstance. We must be diligent in our disciplines, especially prayer, Scripture and solitude. We must not forsake the assembly of others and the spiritual gifts they have which we don't but we need. We must not despair in doing good because a bountiful harvest is awaiting us. We must strive to love God and love others with everything we have got. Those are things God has taught us well on.