I am sure over the years to come I will speak more on this subject, but already, I can see some fundamental emotional and psychological differences between Ava and Jacob which seem to be rooted in their gender. It will be more pronounced as they both grow older, but two have differences have clearly appeared in the last month or so. They both are aspects of their personality that reflect masucline and feminine traits.
One is touch and specifically hugging. Jacob never showed an interest in hugging anyone or seeking out personal touch as a young child. He wanted to be held at bed time and of course being comforted when he was hurt. But in "normal" conditions, he didn't like being held or snuggled. Ava runs to you to give you a hug. She loves it. She will put her head down on my neck and let me squeeze her. I proudly confess I love this about her.
The second is discipline. It is still very early in the game, and the game does change as they age, but each are at different end points. We have started very light discipline with Ava telling her "no" on certain things, like throwing her food off the table. Like with Jacob at that age, if she persists, we would get a light smack on the hand. With Jacob, we could never just do a light smack. You had to up the intensity a bit or he would just think you were playing. Even then, he also showed a little more defiance which often led to several smacks.
With Ava, I can literaly look at her and say "no" and make her cry. I have done it. Just a stern look can send her into tears. Twice I have gave her the smallest of smacks, more like a light tap and she wails. It is like she is saying "How can you be angry at me my beloved father."
Boys and girls are different from birth. However, it is not easy to say which is easier to raise because the individual personality still factors into that, although some people do have specific opinions on the topic. My mother, who had 4 boys and 2 girls, always said boys were easier to raise than girls. I believe she felt boys were lower maintenance than girls and possibly had fewer emotional issues to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI can't really say which is easier based on MY experience. There are stages each go through which cause them to switch positions on the scale of difficulty. Just have to keep turning the pages and see what is written on the next page. Oh, yes, keep those "love" glasses on as you read those pages!!!