Surprised by Sadness

Today, we closed out an IRA account we had inherited from Shannon's dad. As I looked online at the account and saw its new balance as $0.00, it brought a sadness upon me. It was a very tangible example of his and Mom Varden's passing. It is not the same as a family heirloom, but this account was something they have left behind and now its is gone.

What surprised me was the feeling of grief and sadness from what I consider an unexpected source. I don't feel "sad" as I type this post, but when I switch tabs in my browser and look at the account, the sadness begins to knot up inside me again. Here I am, almost three years removed from their death and something like a closed IRA account brings me grief. And my momentary bouts with sadness pale next to the quantity and quality of such moments my wife goes through.

Since their death, I have been surprised by sadness and grief. How they come upon you in totally unforeseen times. As you think about, it really is not that surprising. I mean, whoever expects to be sad in the first place, but it is telling that for most us, certainly Shannon and I, our lives have been fairly happy and we are unacquainted with sorrows. When something sorrowful happens, we are thrown for a loop. Still, it points to the difficulty with grief. As much as you would like to get it over with at one time, it tends to come to you in spurts with no guarantee of its end date.