I am sure you have been anxiously awaiting my posts on my time as a bachelor last week. Why didn't I post? Was it because I was using my free time reading great novels? Was it because I was using my free time praying and fasting? Was it because I was using my free time on different household projects? How did I spent my time?
I watched a movie a day and worked until past midnight.
Nearly all of my non-work/non-sleep time was spent in front of the TV. A small defense was that we got our new 50" plasma HDTV that week so I felt obliged to "test" it out. But I watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy among other movies. That goes beyond just testing out the TV.
I started working from home right before I was married so I never really experience a home-work environment as a bachelor. I can confidently say that it is a lifestyle not healthy for me. I had nothing to stop my work day, and it was too easy to pick up later at night. I am in the midst of a very busy work season, but with my family, I know I need to focus on getting as much done as possible during the day so I can give them my time in the evening.
It definitely was not what I anticipated. I had these images of quiet evenings on the couch reading books or working on a project without interruption. I am sure if I was really a bachelor I would find a better balance in my life, but I was surprised at how unfocused my life was.
In my earlier post, my wonderful brother-in-law Wes made an insightful comment: "I hope you enjoy the quiet and solitude of this week and make the most of it. Not that solitude and “freedom” are better than the family life, but hopefully one will help you to appreciate the other all the more."
My favorite singer is Sara Groves, and one of her songs is called "Painting Pictures of Egypt".
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I just want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned
The inspiration of the song is the Hebrews' complaints as they journeyed out of Egypt. They went through a tough spot in the wilderness, but it was obviously a better situation than enslavement in Egypt. Yet, through their sinful self-centeredness they focused on the immediate pain and ignored the past difficulties while magnifying the good of those past times. Groves then ties that into our lives as we gripe and whine on the change of our life not noticing that God has grown us out of that past person and past life.
That was me. I got too wrapped up in the difficulties of raising two young kids and being in a family unit that I overlooked the changes God has done in me. I really loved my single days, but they had hard times too. It is not about one season of life being easier or better than the another one. It is recognizing God is transforming us into the image of His Son, and each season is being used to take us further down that road. You can't really go back to the old ways because you are no longer the same person who went through it the first time.
Last week was a blessing. I got to see an insight into my soul and the work God is doing. I got a reset on my attitude toward my present life. And I got to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I really do like those movies.
That sounds like a great song. Those lyrics are so true.
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