Christmas 2009

Here are a whole bunch of pictures from this year's Christmas. Start with a little Christmas gathering with our friends Bill Emeott, Jeff and Abbey Land. Then Christmas morning at our home after Santa visited and then with my parents. Enjoy and have a great new year.

2009: The Year of Gifts

Sorry if this seems a little incoherent, but I am a bit confused. Not sure where am I.  I was in Springfield, TN living in a my home. No, no, I think I was in Orange Beach, AL renting an apartment. No, that can't be right. Maybe I am in Franklin, TN staying in someone else's home rent-free. Huh?

Wild year. One that is hard to encapsulate in a post. Shannon and I were talking on the drive to my parents for Christmas of what we did together in each of our 8 past Christmases. I could not remember last year, but Shannon remembered that our friends the Joneses watched Jacob, my parents watched Ava and Shannon and I took a "stay-cation" taking day trips to different parts of Tennessee. "That was last year. Just 12 months ago?" I replied. It seemed so, so long ago.

So much has happened in 12 months that it is hard to believe it all occured in the same year. Not just living in 3 different places, but our mindsets. In Springfield, knowing only that we didn't know what our future direction should be. Going to Orange Beach in hopes of finding that answer, but unsure of when and how that answer would present itself. In Franklin, with a clear vision for our future but new challenges in our new lifestyle.

So many people tell you that time flies and that your life, especially with your children, passes too fast. Maybe I will hold that view at some point in my future, but I am 34 now, with a 7 1/2 year marriage, a 5 year old and a nearly 2 year old. My verdict: time is just creeping on and it is great that way. Jacob at 5 years of age, ready to start kindergarten in less than a year; yea, that sounds right. Hasn't flow by to me. Nearly 8 years with Shannon; I seems longer because I can't imagine life without my wonderful soulmate.

One thing I am probably going to regret later is using this quote from an 80s movie. At the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Ferris says: "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Everyone seems to agree with the sentiment of how fast life moves, but many don't apply the solution Ferris suggests. You have to make a concentrated effort to look around to keep your perspective. By looking around, I mean really thinking about what is happening in your life. Going back and trying to recount how you got there, like Shannon and I did trying to remember our past Christmases. But not just now and then, but fairly regularly. Sometimes looking at the big picture but other times looking at the immediate past. It is something I try to do, and I testify that it generally works.

I confess that some periods of your life are a bit more "ordinary" than others which makes it harder to recall, but that also means there are periods of your life which are quite extraordinary. 2009 has been that year. The greatest gifts I received this year, in order:

1. Jacob's salvation.

2. Seeing the healing of grief in Shannon's life

3. Receiving direction from God on moving to First Baptist Nashville and our new family direction.

4. Having a wild and unpredictable year which made my 12 months of living seem like 2-3 years of life.

My worst fear apart from the death or harm for my family is having a life without abundance. Without fullness or depth or excitement or challenges or opportunities or goals.  A mundane existence where the days blended together and your life feels like it is flying by you without you making an impact on it or it making an impact on you. 2009 was anything but my worst fear.

Predictions for 2010? Yea, right. Could I have predicted 2009? I won't even try and make a fool of myself by doing that. But that is the fun of it. I don't know what is in store and I can't wait to find out.

In Nashville (Franklin, actually)

Been a bit of a whirlwind this month. My posted the news on Facebook several weeks ago so I assume everyone knows we have moved to Nashville as Shannon is the new children's minister at First Baptist Nashville. We are currently staying at the church's mission home in Franklin looking for permanent residence.

Ironically, now that we have moved from Orange Beach I should take some time to explain why we moved there in the first place. Given we are there only slightly less than 6 months and ultimately made a new move from Springfield of 30 miles south, it may seem like a mistake to move there. On the contrary, it was one of the best things we have done as a family, and our place in Nashville and Shannon's new job would not have been possible without doing so.

I will write more about that later. Today, I have a little boy upstairs who wants to play. Heading to my parents for Thanksgiving dinner later today, and Jacob will spend a few nights with his grandparents.

My Life as a Play: Jacob's Worship Song

Setting: Daddy is putting Jacob to bed. Jacob has longed like to make up songs, especially worship songs. They are always original, including never repeating the same line twice or in the same key. In fact, there is typically no discernible key or harmony or pitch. Just a worshipful heart. He gives Daddy an impromptu performance.


Jacob:

I love you God.
You made the whole world.
You took away the yucky from my heart.
You died for me on the cross.
You gave me a great family.
You made all the birds and animals.
You made the sweet sweet reindeer that carry Santa.
I love you.

Morning After

I feel much better about my race this morning because of how bad I feel. I never feel sore after my normal runs. Today, my muscles ache. I obviously pushed myself yesterday which is good.

Race Results: Running Scared 2009

I ran 26:42. I was hoping to be in the 25s, but it was not to be. This was my PR so I am pleased in that regard. The plan was to be at 8:30 at 1 mile, 16:00 at the second mile and run that last part of the race at a 9 mile pace.

I largely carried this out through mile two (around 16:15), but I just ran out of gas in the last part. I did not feel real fast in that first mile and expected I was expending more energy than I wanted to for the first mile. The weather was perfect, but it was odd course. It was back trails through this park. Turf was a mixture of concrete, gravel, dirt, and loose dirt. Also, the organizers had to work with the course available, but it was not quite 5K. My friend had his GPS watch with him, and he measured the course at 3.18 miles. Not that it would have got me into the 25s, but it was a bit long.

I do know I can put together a 5K race to run in the 25s (and faster in years to come), but I need to increase my training distance. I never run more than 3.5 miles in training. I plan on making a weekly long run where I steadily up my distance to around 10 miles. Also, I am ready to add some speed work and other aspects of training into my routine, not just run 3 miles 3-4 times a week.

All things to work on. That is a fun part of it. Looking forward to years of running. Results are here. I did get 3rd in my age division. Of course, there were only 4 men in my age division.

Empty Moving Trucks

There are two moving trucks outside our townhome, one each being rented by next door neighbors. These are the two neighbors we first met when we moved here. Each had a daughter nearly Jacob's age and were natural playmates. These children would knock on our door and ask Jacob to play. Sometimes they came into our home and played upstairs in the play room. We only briefly chatted with the parents, but they seemed quiet normal. Yet during the brief 5 months we have been here, both families had one spouse decide they just did not want to stay married, then moved out and filed divorce. The remaining spouse is packing up the remaining belongings and leaving in the moving trucks.

I don't think I have ever seen divorce this up close. I have had closer friends go through divorces, but it has not seemed as vivid as these two. I believe it is because of the children and their connection with Jacob. One girl became, in some ways, Jacob's first girlfriend. She was certainly his best friend here. She would knock on the door after school and ask if Jacob could come out. They played little imaginary games, have little silly fights where one would leave angry or crying but then come back to each other in ten minutes to play again as if the fight had never happened. Jacob would talk about how pretty she was and how much he liked her, but it was always very innocent and without the connotation of a true romance.  A five year old boy and a five year old girl who were best friends.

She told Jacob she was going to travel to Arkansas for a long visit, but she would come back. I am sure that is what her mother told her, but they were never coming back. I spoke to the father, and he said she was depressed at motherhood and its loneliness, her weight gain since having the daughter and just discontent her life. There was no real strife or enmity within the marriage. The wife just wanted a new start.

As the weeks went by, Jacob still talked about the girl and how she was coming back. Then one day when Shannon was driving him home from school, Jacob began talking about her and he must have finally realized the reality of the situation. He began crying, and through the tears he said "She lied to me. She told me she was coming back, but she isn't." What do you say to something like that?

The other girl was a bit older than Jacob, but she would still play with him. When we met her, she was so sweet. Shannon felt she would be a good influence on Jacob. One day I saw her mom and made some small chat. She shared her husband had left her, and she did not know why. You never get all the details on marital troubles, and we only heard her side, but apparently there was no infidelity or growing embitterment. He just got tried of the marriage and left. It was the second marriage for both of them, with each having kids from the first, and together they had a 7 year old daughter and a 10-month old son.

Since then, this sweet 7 year old would still play with Jacob but now in a manner that was less sweet, not nearly as generous. I noticed that every time I would encounter her she would try to hug me or jump on me or grab me or ask me to pick her up.  One time on the common lawn, I was walking back with Jacob, and she ran up behind me and jumped on me. I gently put her down and kept walking to the house, but she persisted in this bizarre assault. As I was literally holding her off of me at arms length, as she kept saying "Spin me around. Spin me around," I got concerned that neighbors would think it very odd of this young girl chasing this grown man.

You don't need to be counselor to see how her father's abandonment of the marriage was changing her view of herself and her need for love and affirmation. She is very pretty little girl who would flourish in loving and stable home. Now I worry about her future. Will she be promiscuous as a teenager and young adult? How will she view and trust men? Maybe she will turn out great. Maybe.

The best sermon I ever heard on divorce was from my friend Greg Methvin. It was soundly Biblical in holding up the standard of marriage but wisely pastoral in dealing with broken people and the hurt experienced through divorce. He spoke of the connection that two married people always have, that divorce can never truly take away. You become one, then are torn apart, but part of that person always remains with the other. The tearing also rips apart others, especially the children, but really all the people who were part of that one life you shared, including the 5 year old neighbor boy who adored your daughter.

Both trucks are nearly full with their belongings and ready to head out to their new locations. A new start they might say. But they might as well be empty. The stuff that really matters can't be loaded into a moving truck and carted off. It will always be left behind.

Updated Look

I have selected a new theme. Has the style I like, and I think I will keep it for a while. But I may change up my themes every now and then just to try something new. It is not like I have a brand image to uphold.

Also, I added a widget on the right showing pictures from our picture site. It displays random photos so everytime you come here you should get something different.

New Poll: My 5K Time

I made a new poll regarding this weekend's 5K race. My goal is in the 25s, but we will see.

I have reverted back to the default Wordpress theme (the look/design template) because my old theme got hacked and had some links inserted to build up the Google Page ranking of a fradulent site. I will find a new theme soon and update. Hopefully I won't get hacked again.

October in Orange Beach

I wish I had my camera yesterday at the beach. It was a really beautiful day. Got there about 5:30 and stayed for nearly an hour until dark. Kids had a blast playing. Jacob likes to "jump" over the waves as they come in. Me and him had a good time out in the ocean. His swimming has significantly improved this year. I want to encourage him to take up swimming as a sport, just because it seems like such a good sport in terms of fitness and life long benefits.

My little daughter is probably the toughest 30 inch tall person you will meet. She wears a life jacket at the beach which has a strap which in effect makes it a small leash to hold on to her which is very useful. If you don't, she will take off and run into the water and the waves. She loves being in the waves and trying to swim. Super duper cute. Yesterday, Shannon was not holding to her leash but standing right by her as she stood just in the water letting the small waves hit. However, a big wave suddenly came in and knocked her down face first into the sand. Shannon went over to pick her up, but Ava just got up, smiled and when "ahh."

Water was still warm which is not too surprising as we have been consistently in the 80s-90s so far. Hardly anyone was there which is the big plus of living down here in the off season. I do miss a traditional Fall as it is probably my favorite season, but I also enjoy the long Summer. I am been grateful for the experience. One of our reasons for coming here was to experience a tropical life even for just a year, and it has not disappointed. When we moved down here, we specially looked forward to October and November here. So far, so good.

Fall may actually be coming this weekend. Saturday is projected to be sunny with high of 65 and low of 48, first time getting to the 40s. All next is projected to still have highs in the upper 70s.

Preparing for 5K

I am running in the Running Scared 5K here in Orange Beach next Saturday week. I have been running now for 4 years now, but I have only entered 2 official races. I am at a point now of confidence in my running base and of desire to improve, not just finish. I expect I will be a more frequent race participant going forward.

Today at my running club's weekly run, I wanted to run near-race intensity to get a feel for my speed. I did the 5K+ (it is a little more than 5K) course in just over 27 minutes. My goal for next week is to be somewhere in the 25s.

I have along way to catch my cousin Derek who is tearing it up at Murray State. He is really doing well.

Life in the OB

Not to make anyone jealous or anything, but today Shannon and I both complained about how hot and muggy it has been. She had to go to the pool today to cool off.

Favorite Books: Master of the Senate

Upon the passing of Ted Kennedy, I read an article talking about a time he brought in author Robert A. Caro to talk to his Senate colleagues  about the tradition of the Senate. The article mentioned Caro writing an "epic" biography of Lyndon B. Johnson. I enjoy political biographies, and I thought I would pick it up and see if it was truly "epic."

The biography in reference is Master of the Senate which won the Pulizer for biography in 2003.  It is the 3rd and latest part of a 4 volume set Caro is planning on Johnson. The 4th and final volume is likely due in the mid 2010s.

I just today finished the 1000+ pages biography, and in conclusion, I have to say the book is worthy of its accolades. It is fascinating because Johnson is a fascinating politician and Caro did such a marvelous job in researching him that he is able to draw unique insights into Johnson's personality and his incredible political talents.

I will likley make several posts in the next week or so about this book as I have found it so fascinating. I know most people hear "1000+ page biography" and can think of nothing worse to read, but I would highly recommend this to anyone. There are ideas and concepts about interpersonal skills I have learned from this reading which I want to implement in my life. Not everything about Lyndon Johnson was good, with some personal characteristics being truly dispicable. But he displayed great people skills, which he sometimes used for wrong reasons, but other times used to accomplish much good.

Single Fatherhood

Shannon is in Knoxville this weekend for her cousin's wedding. I have the kids by myself. So far, so good. It has been a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and Jacob has been playing with his friends outside for the past 5 hours. Ava had a good nap and has been very content. Parenting is easy when the kids do exactly what you want them to do. But I will be glad when Shannon gets back on Sunday.

Vegas Baby!

I just got back from a Kantara Initiative conference in Las Vegas. I work with KI in my SAML testing which was the motivation behind the trip. It was my first trip to Vegas, and I was excited to see a city I have heard so much about. I leave there greatly disappointed.

First, nothing about gambling entices me. Many people go there thinking they will just spend X dollars, are prepared to lost that (but only that) and consider the process of doing so entertainment. Not me. I can't get past the obviousness that slots and the other games are designed to win more than you do. The best that can happen is you get "lucky", and you quit while you are ahead. Not for me.

Still, I thought I might be able to appreciate the Vegas experience just as an observer. Not happening. Slot machine after slot machine, but everyone looked so unhappy playing them. I heard two or three people yell out in joy during the time I was there, I presume because of their winning something, but the rest looked frankly pathetic.

I also had high hopes for the famed Vegas strip, but it disappointed as well. The buildings were huge, but it had an over-built feel. I did not notice the lights as much as the enormous buildings overwhelming the scenery.

And then it was the small things. Because their profit lies primarily in the gambling, they do everything to discourage from doing anything else but gamble. I stayed in the Rio which is a huge hotel/casino. The only work out room they had in this entire place was was in their spa center, but to use it you had to pay $22/day. Internet service in the room costs $8/hour. The Comfort Inn is better than that.

I know there are other things to do in Vegas like the shows which I did not have the opportunity to see, but those are not big draws to me. I am glad to see it once on business, but I can't see going back on pleasure.

My Labor Day Weekend

I saw my Dad have a heart attack.

My parents came down on Thursday evening. We had dinner together, caught up a little and then headed to bed. My dad had some chest pains in the last few days, but they were light and passing. He has a history of heart disease and a had a triple-bypass 15 years ago. His recent problems, even going back further than just this last week, due to different aligments.

Thursday night he had his most severe episode yet. Mom came into the room and told me "Kyle, I need you to take us to the hospital. I think your Dad is having a heart attack." I quickly decided it was much better to call 911 than to attempt to bring him to the hospital myself.

The EMS was there quickly and by that time Dad's chest pains had subsided. He was even thinking this just a false alarm, and it was not necessary to go to the ER, but they took him on to the hospital, arriving around 1:00 AM.

Shortly there after, the pains returned and this time strengthened. Now, it was no longer in his chest but into his arms and his back. The pain would come in ever increasing waves. Nitro glycerine, morphine and the other drugs did nothing to hinder the pain, and it continued this way until around 3:30.

Finally, the pain stopped, and he was able to rest. By 5:00 lab results showed that he had indeed had some type of cardiac event. Around 8:00 they transfered him from the South Baldwin Medical Center ER to Thomas Hospital which had a cardiac stent facility. Later that morning he had a heart cath which showed 80%-90% blockage in one of his by-passes. He later had a stent inserted to alleviate the blockage, and he did well with the procedure. He was discharged on Sunday, and he got to spend a few days in our home before leaving back to Georgetown this morning.

There in the middle of night in the ER was a scary moment. Witnessing a heart attack is not something I ever longed to see, but it is something I will never forget. Your heart is something you take for granted. How can you help it, given its silent, steady beating your whole life. Yet, when it comes under distress, you are then aware of its primacy in keeping your body alive. A primacy only exceeded by God Himself.

We are grateful the attack was not a massive, deadly one. While the glycerine and other medicine did not immediately remedy the pain, they likely helped and kept the heart attack from being worse. We are grateful for the providence of God and getting Dad through this. If you are going to have a heart attack, it can't happen at a better place than a hospital.

Ava's Shoes

Our daughter loves shoes. Loves them. It was one of her first words. She gets fussy if you don't put on a certain pair she wants to wear that day. Several times a day she brings us shoes to put on her. She also enjoys wearing other people's shoes. What is especially funny is that she will put them on herself and come walking in wearing them with a big grin on her face. Here are a few pics of her with Jacob's shoes.

Jacob's Birthday

Jacob turned 5 last week. Shannon posted some pictures on Facebook on the his actual birthday, but here are some more. Also, as a matter of record, Jacob on his 5th birthday is 3' 9' (45 inches) tall' and 42 lbs. For what is it worth, that puts him in the 86th percentile for height and 59th percentile for weight. This gives him a BMI of 14 which is in the 22nd percentile. When you have more inches than pounds you get low BMIs. I have a healthy, tall young boy.

Calm before the Storm

Claudette, far too sissy of a name for a possible hurricane, has made landfall near Destin, Florida, an area we considered moving to instead of Orange Beach. Good choice on our part! What is interesting is that all though we are just over an hour a way from its center, the weather last night and this morning has been super calm. No rain. No wind. That will of course change, but we are not in any danger from this tropical storm. We will keep our eye on Ana and Bill and any other goofy named tropical storms. Our first hurricane season in the Gulf is here.

The Best News Ever

This extrememly busy season at work is nearing an end. End of August and September should see the waters part. I expect to write more here then, but I have to share the most wonderful news. Last night around 6:20 at the dinner table, Jacob prayed to receive Christ as his Lord and Savior! I will write more about it later, but it is obviously a wonderful event to the say the least. He is young of course (1 week shy of 5 years of age), but I truly believe it was a genuine decision. I am still stunned by it. Like all conversion experiences, it is a fascinating story. Amazed, amazed amazed.

Busy, busy, busy

The business of my work life has prevent too many blog posts. Today, Erik and his family are visiting us for the weekend. Sunday, I am driving to New Orleans to catch a flight to Austin for a meeting on Monday which I will fly back on Monday night, thus not getting home until 2:00 AM or so.

I have several cute pictures on the camera I want to upload when I get a little more time. Things should slow down when this month is through. All good.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I am sure you have been anxiously awaiting my posts on my time as a bachelor last week. Why didn't I post? Was it because I was using my free time reading great novels? Was it because I was using my free time praying and fasting? Was it because I was using my free time on different household projects? How did I spent my time?

I watched a movie a day and worked until past midnight.

Nearly all of my non-work/non-sleep time was spent in front of the TV. A small defense was that we got our new 50" plasma HDTV that week so I felt obliged to "test" it out. But I watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy among other movies. That goes beyond just testing out the TV.

I started working from home right before I was married so I never really experience a home-work environment as a bachelor. I can confidently say that it is a lifestyle not healthy for me. I had nothing to stop my work day, and it was too easy to pick up later at night. I am in the midst of a very busy work season, but with my family, I know I need to focus on getting as much done as possible during the day so I can give them my time in the evening.

It definitely was not what I anticipated. I had these images of quiet evenings on the couch reading books or working on a project without interruption. I am sure if I was really a bachelor I would find a better balance in my life, but I was surprised at how unfocused my life was.

In my earlier post, my wonderful brother-in-law Wes made an insightful comment: "I hope you enjoy the quiet and solitude of this week and make the most of it. Not that solitude and “freedom” are better than the family life, but hopefully one will help you to appreciate the other all the more."

My favorite singer is Sara Groves, and one of her songs is called "Painting Pictures of Egypt".

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I just want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

The inspiration of the song is the Hebrews' complaints as they journeyed out of Egypt. They went through a tough spot in the wilderness, but it was obviously a better situation than enslavement in Egypt. Yet, through their sinful self-centeredness they focused on the immediate pain and ignored the past difficulties while magnifying the good of those past times. Groves then ties that into our lives as we gripe and whine on the change of our life not noticing that God has grown us out of that past person and past life.

That was me. I got too wrapped up in the difficulties of raising two young kids and being in a family unit that I overlooked the changes God has done in me. I really loved my single days, but they had hard times too.  It is not about one season of life being easier or better than the another one. It is recognizing God is transforming us into the image of His Son, and each season is being used to take us further down that road. You can't really go back to the old ways because you are no longer the same person who went through it the first time.

Last week was a blessing. I got to see an insight into my soul and the work God is doing. I got a reset on my attitude toward my present life. And I got to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I really do like those movies.

Being a Bachelor

My wife and children are visiting family this week. My work is especially busy this time of the year, and I could not take off to join them. Thus, I am a bachelor for a week.

Have to confess here at the 12 hour point: I am not quite sure what to do with myself. My life is now too open. I am free to do many things but the choices are nearly overwhelming.

I am going to sit down and make my list for the week. I have told myself I have to do some reading. I always complain about the kids interrupting me and making it difficult to read. Well, no excuse this week. And, I probably should write in this blog nearly every day.

No matter what I do, I will definitely miss my wife and children. I love you Shannon!

Good Visit with Friends

My good friends Greg and Tori Finley are visiting us this week with the precious little boy Will. I'll get some pictures up of the visit in a day or so, including Will's birthday party (he turns 1 tomorrow).

I am reminded how precious friendships are during the visit. Greg is truly one of my best friends, and despite not seeing each other very much in the last few years, we have reconnected rather seamlessly due to the nature of our friendship. It is truly a blessing from God.

Greg and Tori are missionaries to Argentina and will be heading out to the mission field next year. If you are interested in partnering with them for financial support, check out their website. Shannon and I are partners with them, and we feel priviledge to be able to work with people of this caliber who are called by God into this critical arena.

My Bio

I submitted a presentation proposal for my company to speak at this OASIS conference on Identity Management. Part of the proposal called for brief bio of the presenter so I wrote something up. As I was looking at it, I confess to feeling a little pride at what I have accomplished in my career. I am not a "career guy". I really like my job with DGI, and I love the people I work with. However, I have always seen my job as something I needed to do, but not where I want my heart. My heart is doing Kingdom work to the community and through the local body of believers of the church. That is what gets me excited. I have always wanted to do a good work at my job, but I never longed for career advancement. If I can stay gainfully employed doing something I basically enjoy that provides for my family, I will be content. I don't want to put in the extra hours needed to have a great career. I want to put those hours into my family, church and the overall work of the Kingdom.

Yet, I have to admit I have done OK with career. Many 34 year olds have done better, but as I looked back at my job and tried to summerize it in 250 words or less, I confess to having some good pride at what I have done. I have been working now for 12 years since college, the last 7 with DGI.  It has been good, and I hope the rest of my work career is as enjoyable as these first years have been.

Kyle Meadors is a Principal at Drummond Group Inc (www.drummondgroup.com) with expertise in their test service processes. He is responsible for overseeing and administering interoperability testing involving the identity management standard SAML and the global data item synchronization program of GS1 GDSN. Meadors has performed dozens of interoperability and conformance test events for Drummond Group as well as projects on various US Smart Grid initiatives. He is the author of several Internet-Drafts within IETF and has been published in IEEE Internet Computing magazine. Meadors has a BS in electrical engineering from Mississippi State University.

Orange Beach Running Club

After we decided to move to Orange Beach, I subscribed to their community newsletter. In it, they had an advertisement for their local running club. Ever since I started running 3 1/2 years ago, I have always run alone. It was my time of solitude which I looked forward to. But when I found out about this club, I wanted to check it out. One, it would be good for connecting with people in this community, and two, I thought it could help my running times and performance if I began to run with others.

I have run 4 times with the group, and I really like it, both the concept and the people in the group. We meet on Monday nights and run a nice 5k course. Afterward, we go to a local bar/restaurant, Calypso Joe's, which gives the running club free appetizers and half-priced pitchers of beer. It is a nice time to socialize and connect with the group.

Last night Shannon and the kids came with me. Shannon pushed Ava in the stroller and Jacob rode his bike. Afterwards, we went to Calypso Joe's, which is right off the marina. The showers cleared off and cool the evening off so the run felt good. Nice time all around.

Target is Amazing

I have never shopped at Target much until recently. When I was in Dallas, a Target store was just 5 minutes from my apartment, but it was not the type of store I would patronage as a single guy in my 20s. I have spent most of my married life and all of my time as a parent in Springfield which is Target-less. There was a Target about 25 miles from where we lived, but I figured Wal-mart is basically the same so why make the drive.

In Orange Beach, there is a Target much more accessible, and now that I have visited it few times I know it is waaay better than Wal-mart. Unlike Wal-mart, Target looks like it has actually put some thought into its selection and choices, especially in the houseware and home sections which are prime areas for families. Their choices complement each other, and they are fairly stylish. We still shop Wal-mart, but it really has more an organized flea-market feel. Cheap, but also, well, cheap.

But just so you know that I have not become some super sissy bragging about the container section in Target, I also got Super Mario Kart for my Wii and a Slip-n-Slide for Jacob in my recent Target visit. I am still a big kid at heart. I just now like my pillows and window treatments to match.

Breaking News: Michael Jackson is Dead but Kyle Meadors is Still Alive

Wow. Almost a month since I last posted here. From end of April until mid-May right before we moved, I posted nearly every day. Not sure what happened, but I am going to do better. And I have lots of things to update you on. I will be your daily break from Michael Jackson estate drama.

Its Official - We are Homeless

We officially closed on our home today. Originally scheduled for May 19th, but the paperwork had gotten delayed several weeks due to some government agency backlog. Our buyers actually moved in at the end of May and have been paying rent to us until we closed. Got everything notarized this afternoon and then put into the FedEx overnight delivery to the title company.

This is the official closure on our time in Springfield. Of course, our friendships made there will remain and continue, but we have truly moved on. Shannon and I were talking in the car today that we actually did it. We dreamed and prayed for a a few years about moving to the Gulf and near a beach area, and we have done it. No turning back now nor do we want to. This is an exciting time. I don't know how long this season of life will have us here, but for as long as God has does have us here, we will enjoy it and strive to do His will.

Randy Johnson-Nolan Ryan Clip

Last night Randy Johnson won his 300th game in MLB. Johnson has long credited some advice from Nolan Ryan the and then Texas Rangers pitching coach Tom House with changing his delivery and taking him from a fast but wild pitcher to a fast pitcher with excellent control. After this meeting, he went on to win 5 Cy Young awards and become one of the great pitchers of all time.

I found an old video clip of this session with Johnson getting these pitching lessons. It is amazing on several fronts. One, that someone was there to record it. This was 1992 in the pre-YouTube/pre-cameras everywhere days. Two, Ryan and House worked for the Rangers but Johnson pitched for the Seattle Mariners. Still, they saw someone who could use some help even though they were on opposing sides. Three, Johnson was willing to listen and make changes. Lots of good advice out there, but people often choose to ignore it out of pride or other poor motives.

While the subject matter (i.e. baseball) is not a critical issue in our lives, the spirit and attitude displayed by Ryan, House and Johnson are ones we should have in our lives. We need to look to help others, even if their gain could hinder some of our potential material pursuits. Also, we need to be of humble hearts to take advice and instruction.

Jacob's First Bike

Last week we got Jacob his first bike. It of course has training wheels, but he does really good on it. When Shannon and the kids go to the pool, he always wants to ride his bike there. Here is a link to the slideshow gallery of his first ride.

Problem with Bing

Microsoft opened their new search engine, Bing, over the weekend. I thought I would try it out and search for "kyle meadors". The first result was not my home page or one the articles I have written nor any of the projects which with I have been associated.

Instead, it was a MySpace page called "?theihatekylemeadorsproject". No, I am not kidding. That is its name. Try it, I'll wait.

The "Kyle Meadors" in question is some other drummer dude. I did not even bother to read much more than that. I am going back to Google.

Two Shout Outs

On a late Saturday night, we are getting things ready to go to church tomorrow. Will probably visit FBC of Gulf Shores tomorrow. I do want to give two quick shout outs to two people of whom I am very proud. First, my sister is out of the country in Peru on a mission trip with her church. They come back next week, but I am so proud of her in living out the Great Commission to minister to those around the world.

Second, my wife has been super mom this week. She has given the kids a great week of fun, made super meals every night, kept the house up and worked in getting us moved in. I am very, very proud of her and realize how blessed I am to have her as my wife.

Breakfast of Champions

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Our Piano

Shannon inherited a small grand piano from her parents. It was the same piano that she practiced on as a child as she learned how to play piano. Since her parent's death, my parents have been gracious enough to keep the piano as we did not have room for it in our Springfield home.

Our new home in Orange Beach has the layout which allows us to have a piano. Today Modern Piano Moving company delivered our piano. I took pictures of the sequence of the movers taking the piano out from the truck and then into our home. It was quite impressive to watch just two men move a 800 lbs. grand piano. Also some real cute photos of Shannon and Ava at the piano.

Happy 7th Anniversary

Today was our first full day in OB, and it was lovely. It was especially wonderful as it was our 7th wedding anniversary. I am truly blessed to have Shannon. She is an amazing wife and my best friend.

Shannon and Jacob went to the beach for about 2 hours today and had a blast. The whole family later went to our community pool and had a good time there. Ava is really taking to the water in terms of not be scared of it and enjoying playing in the water. Later, we met our friend (and my realtor agent) Steve Smith and his family for ice cream. Just a really nice day.

Tomorrow the real world comes crashing back down. No matter if you live near the beach or not, work is still work.

We Are Here

Made it in to Orange Beach last night. Unloaded today. Will leave tomorrow to pick up kids and spend night at my parents.

Next week when we recover a bit I will share more. Little too tired now to type much. But I do want to say we are absolutely thrilled to be here. I can't believe - we are actually here!

Moving Schedule

Packing tonight. Loading tomorrow. Driving Wednesday. Moving in Thursday. Driving back Friday to get Jacob and spend night with parents (who will have Ava). Stay on Saturday. Drive back with whole family Sunday. New life in Orange Beach Monday.

We're Packing

Almost one week until we move so we have to get into packing overdrive. Having the yard sale, btw sold over $700 in the two days, helped both in removing many items as well as giving us a head start in sorting. The kids are with relatives today so we can go uninterrupted in our efforts. I expect we will get quite a bit done today.

Yard Sale Update

Including pre-sales when we opened up to friends last night and today, we have collected over $600 dollars plus gave away many things we no longer needed before our move. We have sold our leather couch, chair and ottoman, Ava's old bedding and clothes, coffee table, extra long twin bed, lawn mower, patio furniture, unopened bags of multch and lots of others stuff. And we have plenty of stuff left for tomorrow's sale. Shannon has done a great job getting it all together, and I am very proud of her.

Yard Sale on Friday and Saturday

We are having our big pre-move yard sale Friday and Saturday morning.Shannon said something about it on Facebook and opened it up to our friends this evening. We have already sold over $200 worth of stuff so far. Lots of stuff still available. We have our armoire, extra long twin bed, every day dishes, weedeater, tools, coffee table, lots of kids stuff and tons more. For those interested, come on by.

This is our second ever yard sale. You may remember our first experience as domestic retailers.

Birthday Pictures

Pictures from my birthday, including my cookie cake, Jacob's gift to me (see if you can guess which one is his) and the party last night at AWANA.

My Birthday Day

Started with a very nice birthday lunch with the family at Rainforest Cafe. Came home to a birthday cookie cake (my favorite cake) and some nice gifts from Shannon and the kids. Then Shannon threw me a birthday party at the church after AWANA. Lots of nice birthday wishes from many people all day.

At the center of the day was my wife as the planner of all today's events. Her love for me shines like a lighthouse in the dark night. All her actions today demonstrated a deep affection to me. I am so blessed to have her as my wife and best friend.

I'll get some pictures of the day up tomorrow. For now, I am wrapping things up on a very nice 34th birthday.

Where Were You 34 Years Ago?

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Me? Started in mother's womb. Then, bright shiny birthing room. Poked, proded. Passed around to lots of people. Busy day.

Family Pictures

Karie, a college friend of Shannon's, is an amateur photographer and graciously agreed to take pictures of our family this weekend. You can see the photos here off of Karie's photography blog. It is a nice blog to add to your blog roll if you like photography.

Some very good pictures of Ava and Jacob as well of Shannon and me. The family photos are good, but poor Ava was cutting her molar on that day and very un-princess like so she was not particularly smiley at that point. But Shannon and I are very happy with them and will be ordering some prints of them.

For our family, if you would like a certain photo or two let us know in the comments or send us an email and we will get those for you.

Which Tux Would I Look Best In

I have been getting the Wall Street Journal for about 6 months now, and I have greatly enjoyed it. Besides keepng me abreast of the financial world, it has opened my eyes to a whole range of ideas. This week's Saturday edition opened my eyes to new ways to look at tuxedos. I only thought tuxedos were the classic black and white. But now designers are breaking new ground in tuxedo looks, although some may snipe and say the ground they are breaking is one of bad taste.

Not me. I am open to new experiences. I am not going to be shackled by convention thinking. I am a free spirit, a rebel, an iconoclast. But I still seek the fashion approval of my peers to fit in and feel accepted and loved. Thus, I have a new poll to let you tell me which tuxedo I should buy and wear to my next formal outing. See the choices below and vote for your favorite.

Homes for Sale

In our little cul-de-sac, we now have 5 homes for sale or lease. Our home is pending. Our neighbor is thinking about selling or leasing his home. That leaves 5 homes which as far as we know are not on the market. Going out in our neighborhood, there are at least another 5 homes for sale, only one of which has sold.

We were quite blessed to get our home sold and sold as quickly as we did. Especially with this glut of homes coming up for sale, at least in our immediate area.

Ava and Muffins

My sister has commented that these picture above are two of her favorite recent photos of Ava. They are actually from February, before Ava turned one. That was when we let her try Hostess chocolate chip muffins, and she immediately loved them.

Today, Shannon got some cereal in a bowl for Ava and put it down on our ottoman for her to eat. Instead, she walked into the kitchen and pointed up to the counter where these muffins where at and just stood there with her arm raised up, pointing to her favorite breakfast food. She kept it raised that way until we gave it to her. No crying or throwing a fit. Just a dignified hunger strike. I will say her favorite meal is peas and carrots so she is not all enriched flower and sugar, but she loves those muffins. They use to be one of my favorite snacks until I got older and saw my appetite turn away from sweets like those. Still, I admit to being a little proud of her love of those little nuggets of chocolaty goodness.

My connection to the swine flu

Did that headline get your attention? As a stay-at-home worker, I am pretty safe from any viral global pandemics. But I know a guy who has been affected by the swine flu. He is a colleague on a project with me. He is from New Zealand and was flying back from Los Angeles last week.  On that same flight were some New Zealand high schoolers who had come to Mexico for a school outing. 2 of them caught swine flu. Colin, my friend, did not, but he has been quaranteed to his house by the government for the last 5 days. Is that strange?

That is how this stuff spreads. It is such a big world that seemingly random situations, like a high school group from New Zealand taking a trip to Mexico the week this virus breaks out, do occur because there are just so many people out there and our global travel systems allows people to be easily connected. An odd story but something I thought worth sharing.

My Neighbor Mr. Blue Fitch

Two years ago, I decided to put up a birdhouse behind the house. I was so excited. I was so excited and talked about it so much that for Christmas that year, Shannon gave me a blue fitch Christmas ornament. She thought it symbolized my year. Looking back, I am not sure exactly why I was so excited. I think I must have thought birds were going to flock to me like Mary Poppins.

Through all of 2007, the birdhouse stayed empty. But I was not discouraged. I thought I might have gotten it up too late in the Spring for nesting birds. But then 2008 came and went without any feathery friends taking residence in my free home.

Then two weeks ago I look outside and saw something flying from the birdhouse. Could it be? Yes! A couple of blue fitches, just like my ornament, had made a home in the house. I presume they now have a nest with some eggs because one of them, the daddy I presume, is the only one I now see. He occasionally flys up to the birdhouse with some food but otherwise stays in the area keeping watch. In one of the pictures below you can see the dutiful husband with an insect in his beak. With my task complete, I feel I can now leave this home in peace.

I Tweet

In what may or may not be a beneficial decision to myself, my friends and family, my career and my sanity, I have joined Twitter. My Twitter homepage is here or you can tweet me at @kylemeadors. If you have no idea what Twitter is, then it is probably for the best.

Meadors Photo Albums

I recently realized my website hosting service, Bluehost.com, offers a TON of disk space with my package. Also, it allows you to install an open source photo album software, Zenphoto. I have installed it and set up a part of the site for our photos. So far, I just have the upload pictures from Ava's birth on,  1687 images in all. I plan on storing all the photos from Jacob's birth on as well, but I have not gotten to those yet.

Link is below. I will eventually put a link to it from this site, but for now you can just go there through another browser tab. It currently looks pretty plain and I need to do some editing to rotate so photos, but they are up there to view.

http://www.kylemeadors.com/photos

Jacob's Soccer Team

I again coaching Jacob's YMCA Under 5 soccer team this Spring. In terms of on-field ability, this year's team is even worse than last year's. I am grateful we don't have a scoreboard to display to all our futility in scoring, both in making goals (or lack thereof) and preventing goals (or lack thereof).

But as my wife reminded me, you don't score success in U5 soccer by goals or wins-losses. You measure it with how you treat the crying children, which we do have, and how you encourage those who are not playing well, which is all the rest and how much fun they all have, which they do have fun. The girls give me hugs and bring my pictures they have made for me. The boys roll around on the ground but do listen to me (mostly). I know Jacob's favorite part of soccer is playing on the big dirt pile by the field after the game or practice is over. Still, I am glad to coach my little Bluejays team.

Sleeping, or lack thereof

Before you have your first child, everyone talks to you about not getting sleep during the early newborn months. I mean, everyone. The first thing they say after congratulations is something about the lack of sleep coming your way. Usually smiling when they say it. Like a freshman hazing or something.

And yes, it is true your sleep is greatly interrupted those first few months. But it was not communicated to us that this lack of sleep can persistent until they are nearly 5. Jacob still does not sleep well. He struggles to go to sleep, and he easily wakes up during the night. It seems every night this week has resulted in an interrupted night of sleep for us or we have gotten to bed late partially due to Jacob's unwillingness to go down quietly.

Part of the challenge now is that he is at the in-between stage of definitely needing a mid-day nap and giving it up all together. Another part is we have allowed a bad habit to develop of laying down with him to help him go to bed. It was not a problem when he was falling to sleep in 5 or 10 minutes. When it takes an hour, well, that is is a problem. But another part is that Jacob does not sleep well. And, we know several other parents with preschoolers who deal with the same sleep struggles.

I know it will pass, but this stage can't end soon enough. We try to appreciate all aspects of child rearing, even the difficult parts which can be though of sweetly in years to come. However, I can not see this being something I would ever fondly look back on at my son's childhood. Who gets nostalgic over baggy eyes and sleep deprivation?

Moving Update

Many of the To-Do list of moving items are getting checked off. We have completed our home inspection and agreed with the buyers the repair list. Not finished fixing all of them, but none are major. Do need to get some spraying done in our crawl space and termite inspection but we several contractors to choose from on that.

I have reserved a Uhaul moving truck. Also arranged to get Shannon's small grand piano moved from my parents' home, who have been keeping it there since her parent's death, to our home in Orange Beach. Found a very reputable company (they only move pianos and organs) to do it for just over $1000. Not big on paying a $1000 for anything, but given that a Uhaul rental for that distance costs nearly $500, it is actually a good price. No matter. We are excited to have a piano in the home now.

The appraiser came by today to get the home information and do his work to show the mortgage lender the home is properly valued. No problem there; just a formality.

After we finish the remaining repair items...we pack. The part I least look forward to. I did get boxes today. We have a month until we move (head out on May 20th) so we have plenty of time, but I can it slip by if not careful.

Much still to do, but so much has been done. I am still a little shocked at the speed of the whole process, but obviously very, very excited.

Surprised by Sadness

Today, we closed out an IRA account we had inherited from Shannon's dad. As I looked online at the account and saw its new balance as $0.00, it brought a sadness upon me. It was a very tangible example of his and Mom Varden's passing. It is not the same as a family heirloom, but this account was something they have left behind and now its is gone.

What surprised me was the feeling of grief and sadness from what I consider an unexpected source. I don't feel "sad" as I type this post, but when I switch tabs in my browser and look at the account, the sadness begins to knot up inside me again. Here I am, almost three years removed from their death and something like a closed IRA account brings me grief. And my momentary bouts with sadness pale next to the quantity and quality of such moments my wife goes through.

Since their death, I have been surprised by sadness and grief. How they come upon you in totally unforeseen times. As you think about, it really is not that surprising. I mean, whoever expects to be sad in the first place, but it is telling that for most us, certainly Shannon and I, our lives have been fairly happy and we are unacquainted with sorrows. When something sorrowful happens, we are thrown for a loop. Still, it points to the difficulty with grief. As much as you would like to get it over with at one time, it tends to come to you in spurts with no guarantee of its end date.

Book of Mormon

I was down in Miami last week for a conference. At the hotel, the bedside table contained both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I have never looked at the book of Mormon so I opened it up and read some of it out of curiosity. There were some verses which were familiar and borrowed heavily from Bible passages (chalk up plagiarism as another problem with Mormonism).

However, I also experience a deep sense of confusion and frustration. True, I did open and read at the middle rather than starting at the beginning. But even if I did the same to a John Grisham book or a college textbook, I bet I would still have a sense of the general tone, direction and content of the book. But with the book of Mormon, I was generally perplexed.

I thought that is how many, many people must feel who pick up the Bible and attempt to read it. I am so steeped in Christianity and church life that I forget how others who are outside the faith and only peering in must feel.

It is a great reminder that we have to build relationships with people outside our faith. We need to be giving them contacts to help explain the Scripture. Like the Ethiopian official in the Book of Acts who needed the apostle Philip to guide him, people need help understanding the Scriptures. Otherwise, they may do to the Bible what I did with the book of Mormon; try it for about 5 minutes and then toss it aside and order Chinese food.

Travel Oddity

Yesterday, I spoke at a conference sponsered by a group focused security with energy utilties. Stuff like not making sure substations and smart meters which are the future of the electric grid are protected from cyber criminals.

Conference went good and my presentation was well received, but what was most memorable was the trip home. On the plane, I sat across 3 old Amish gentlemen. I did not ask them if they were Amish, but they looked the part with their long beards and very basic clothes, and they were greeted at the baggage claim by others who looked like Amish or similar faith group.

But it gets odder. The airline lost my luggage and I was in the Delta baggage claim center. Guess who walks in looking for their luggage? One of the Amish men. Even ultra conservative fundamentalists can't get good airline service! Turns out, he was coming from Costa Rica. Even stranger. I would have liked to talk with him, but I was busy trying to find out where my luggage, which by the way arrived this morning in good shape.

Ava at 13 months

We had a our 1 year checkup one month late. Ava is doing well and meeting all development milestones and far exceeding the milestones of absolute adorableness.

Her physical measurements are...

Weight: 24 lbs 14 oz (90% percentile)
Height: 30 1/4 inches (50%-75% percentile)
Head: 19 1/2 inches (Above 95% percentile)

The girl is smart and she needs a place to keep that big brain.

New Poll: Will ya' visit?

New poll up. For those who voted in the last poll, Ava walked at 10 months. For those who got it right, treat yourself to some ice cream.

Since we have told people we are moving to OB, about a dozen have said "We vacation there. We outta come see you there some time." Our response, a genuine "We would love it". So you think you might visit the Emerald Coast and take time to meet us for dinner or something? We would love to see all of our friends down there.

"Take It" vs. "Gimme" mentality

In preparation for our move, we decided to sell some of our furniture that either won't work in our new townhome and/or we just don't want to make the effort to move it. One item was our patio furniture. Large table with ceramic tile top with umbrella and 8 chairs, including 2 captain chairs. It is 4 years old, but it still looks good. However, we did not have a place to put it in our new home, and it was not worth paying for storage to keep it until we do have a place for it.

Shannon and I are terrible about pricing our used items. For us, our primary motivation for selling anything is to get rid of it. Whether it is a consignment sale of out grown kid clothes or our patio furniture, we sell items we no longer need. However, we obviously would feel bad about just throwing it away and generally recognize it is in good enough condition not to simply give it away. Still, we are mostly wanting to remove it from our possession and are just looking for a reasonable price for it.

As a result, two things almost always happen. One, we under price our items and don't maximize the sale. Two, our items sell quick. Take the patio furniture. I really never stopped to price the market rate for used patio furniture. I knew what we paid for it. While it was in good condition, it was obviously used and had 4 years of wear on it. Last Saturday night around midnight, I posted pictures of it on the local Craigslist and gave an asking price of $150 dollars. I was just hoping to get $150 and not have to bargain down with anyone.

When I got up Sunday morning at 7:00 AM and checked my email, I already had 5 inquires about it. After returning from church around noon, just twelve hours after posting it, I had 14 requests on it. Obviously, I underpriced my furniture. We had people from Murphesboro, which about 90 minutes away from Springfield, asking about it. In fact, the couple who bought it came from there. I could not believe the response.

When I looked on Craigslist for other patio furniture, I was shocked to see what people were offering and asking for theirs. One ad had a small circle glass top table with 4 chairs for $125. I wouldn't give $25 for it. In fact, I can't see ever buying it. But that is my mentality. Shannon and I naturally lean toward buying something new even at a much higher price because of the quality. Others, in fact many others, are fine buying something used at discounted price.

You could say we have a "Take it" mentality. We are not primarily worried about what we are getting from our sell as much as getting it out of our possession. As a result, we price it such to move quickly. Others are have a different mindset. They have the "Gimme" mentality. They will part with it, but by darn they are going to get top value even if they have to sit on it for a while. I have to say I would like to move a little away from our "Take it" mentality and a little closer to the "Gimme" mentality so we could make a little more money from selling our stuff.

But not too far. I like that we buy something of quality and then use it well and often to get value from it. What we buy we keep for as long as we need it. We don't sell just to buy something newer. We just don't need this item any more and want something from it. I think that is a good mentality. Besides, the Gimme mentality only gets you a little bit more money. But I will advise you not to short change your patio furniture. There is apparently a huge demand for it.

We are moving to Orange Beach

We are moving. Orange Beach Alabama, right next to Gulf Shores on of course the Gulf of Mexico. We move May 20th. Much to say about this move, reasons behind it, etc, but for now know we are just very excited. It has been a subject of much prayer and thought for about 2 years now. Our house here in Springfield has already sold (19 days on the market) and many things are coming together to make this possible. Neat story which I will capture here at some time in the near future.

We will be renting in a  townhome community about 2 miles from the beach. Here are some shots from our new home, at least the model townhome the property uses to showcase itself. We will have the same 3 bedroom/2 bath layout. Good times, good times.

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Difference in Boys and Girls

I am sure over the years to come I will speak more on this subject, but already, I can see some fundamental emotional and psychological differences between Ava and Jacob which seem to be rooted in their gender. It will be more pronounced as they both grow older, but two have differences have clearly appeared in the last month or so. They both are aspects of their personality that reflect masucline and feminine traits.

One is touch and specifically hugging. Jacob never showed an interest in hugging anyone or seeking out personal touch as a young child. He wanted to be held at bed time and of course being comforted when he was hurt. But in "normal" conditions, he didn't like being held or snuggled. Ava runs to you to give you a hug. She loves it. She will put her head down on my neck and let me squeeze her. I proudly confess I love this about her.

The second is discipline. It is still very early in the game, and the game does change as they age, but each are at different end points. We have started very light discipline with Ava telling her "no" on certain things, like throwing her food off the table. Like with Jacob at that age, if she persists, we would get a light smack on the hand. With Jacob, we could never just do a light smack. You had to up the intensity a bit or he would just think you were playing. Even then, he also showed a little more defiance which often led to several smacks.

With Ava, I can literaly look at her and say "no" and make her cry. I have done it. Just a stern look can send her into tears. Twice I have gave her the smallest of smacks, more like a light tap and she wails. It is like she is saying "How can you be angry at me my beloved father."

Ava's First Year Video

Here is the compilation video of Ava's first year. The song playing in the background is "Every Season" by Nichole Nordeman, who is probably Shannon's favorite singer and this is one her favorite songs.

Happy Birthday Ava Lauren

My little princess is 1 year old today. Birthday party tomorrow. Next week, several posts here on Ava, including her 1st year video collage, pictures from the party and other stuff. Happy birthday to my little girl. I love her so much.

I WV U

Jacob drew his mommy a very pretty picture with flowers on it. He then wrote something on the top of it, and said to his Mommy, "look Mommy, I wuv you." What he had spelled was "I WV U". This was all on his own. Does this make him a whole language advocate?

Life with 2 Kids

I was looking back on the postings I have done on this website over its nearly two years of existence. Since Ava has been born, my postings with written content have gone diminished. I post nearly as regularly, but now my posts are far more likely to be just photos or a video with fewer multi-paragraph entries.

Before she was born, people told me that children "math" was different than normal math. 1 child plus one more did not equal to double the work. It was more like 3x or 4x the effort, and I agree. The obvious reason is that previously Shannon and I could do "handoffs" with one taking Jacob while the other does something else, like taking an hour or so to write out a blog post. With two now to care for, that type of exchange is much harder to pull off. We have two good kids and neither have a special disability to require special care. Regardless, parenting of two children is a emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually demanding job.

I suppose I am required as a good parent to give the obligatory "but I love my kids" statement. It of course is true. They are a blessing of joy to my life and fulfill a deep need in my heart to be a father and provider. How could life be as satisfying without them? No, I am aware of that, but I am honest with myself that joyful and satisfying do not always equate fun or enjoyable. I still say the most pleasurable time in my life as a whole was after I married Shannon but before we had children. In this period I had the type of person I yearned for my whole life, but still had time and energy to devote to personal self-fulfillment. Emotionally, it a best of both worlds scenario. Madly in love with your best friend but one who did not demand all time and energy of your life.

Contrasting my current life situation with that of my most selfishly memorable time, it is too easy and short-sighted to say my frustrations are due to rearing children. That is not true. What generally frustrates me the most as a parent of two young children are not the parenting actions themselves which are demanded, like getting up with them at night or cleaning up after them, but the other activities which I enjoy and previously did often, especially at my choosing and convenience but are now supplanted by the demands and needs of my children. Reading, writing, quiet contemplation, movies and other little joys get crowded out or at least require far more focused effort to keep now that we have two incessantly demanding children. I sheepishly confess, the habits of the main spiritual disciplines of prayer and Bible study diminished once my first child was born and are still at lower levels than compared with my Single and Couplehood days. Then, it was fairly easy to carve out 30 minutes or so a day for these activities. Now, it requires far more, well, discipline.

Ironically, it was now as a parent when I need the most spiritual muscle. Challenging child rearing, lack of personal fulfillment, insufficient spiritual workouts. All those forces working together made it ripe for me to often lose my joy and hope as a parent. In some unfortunately too dramatic and too common moments, I would utter to myself, "Just 18 more years" or "In 2026, it will get better." It is kind of funny thinking back how I would get so worked up, but I think any honest parent would relate. Gosh, you get stretches where the joy and hope do get stripped away. You tell yourself that parenting is the most important job you can do and you remind yourself of how truly great your kids are, but for me at least, it was not enough. I needed something more.

Several years ago, a wise friend told me that marriage was a spiritual discipline. That is, it is something which trains us to be more Christ-like. Shortly into my marriage, which has been wonderful from the beginning and throughout, I realized that was true. The sacrifice and self-denial needed to make a marriage work are actions which mold the spirit, mind and body to make someone more resemble Christ. However, for me, marriage is a minor discipline compared to the discipline of parenting. I don't want this to come across too dramatic or harsh, but it is a like where you are daily poured out like a sacrifice for your children. Few things are more Christ-building.

For me, that is the saving grace of fatherhood. At this stage with my children, I get cute smiles and cute sayings and cute moments, but those are out numbered by the challenges and self-denials that are presented daily. I knew going into fatherhood that I would be focused on building Godly children and the fruit of my labor would often not be seen for many years. That hope was, is and will always be a motivating factor. Yet, what I have found to be a quite powerful source of focus, encouragement and energy is accepting and recognizing that being a father is one of the best things I can do as an earnest follower of Christ. The discipline of it, and what is at the heart of this grace of hope, is not to simply go through the motions of parenting overwhelmed with emotions of regret, anger, frustration or,  even happiness in the fun parts of having kids. Instead, it is renewing your mind and tilling your heart to make room for Christ to abide in you as you do these tasks.

We are all works in progress, and I am certainly not there yet. I too often fall short of this and fail Paul's 2nd Corinthians 6:1 warning that "as God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain." But more and more, I am not doing it in vain but soaking it up deeply as a co-laborer of Christ, and that is exciting. To be a co-laborer with Christ means for us to look to work with him in our life to carry out his mission of love and grace and make this earthly kingdom his. This makes parenting both my chief spiritual discipline and my chief kingdom work for which you ultimately do spiritual disciplines in the first place. Kind of a best of both worlds scenario. I guess that does make this a pretty pleasurable time in life after all.

Ava Learning To Walk

Here is a short video showing Ava's progression from crawling to walking.

Super Jacob Snow Angel and BowGirl

Last week, we had "Super Hero" night in our Wednesday AWANA program at church. When we asked Jacob whom he wanted to be, he said "Super Jacob Snow Angel", who goes out in the cold and rescues people from the cold and brings them inside and sits them by a warm fire. It is quite impressive as he thought of this totally on his own, back story and all, without any suggestion from us.

Shannon made him his costume, and she went as BowGirl, capable of making a perfect bow in one twist. The pictures display the creativity of them both.

I replaced my sink faucet

Others may not be particularly impressed, but I am quite proud of myself that I was able to replace my leaking faucet from the kitchen sink. Thanks to some encouragement from my Dad I felt I could do it, and it was not too hard. Feel free to call me for all your simple plumbing needs. Here are the before and after photos.

Ava is walking

Ava took her first steps a few weeks back, but these past few days she has literally and figuratively taken the next step and can make it 4-5 feet on her own. Her preferred method is still crawling, but that phase will soon be ending. The other day she came walking to me, and it made me a little sad. It was evidence of the truth all parents know but at some level always struggle with: my baby girl is growing up.

Happy Birthday Shannon!

Today is my beautiful wife's birthday. I love her so much.

Christmas 2008

Here is ALL of our Christmas photos from this year. It has pictures of Jacob and his preschool teacher Ms Jodi at their Christmas party, several of our family before Christmas day, Meadors family Christmas get together, our family's Christmas eve time with the Advent wreath and our worship time, Christmas morning with our family and Varden family Christmas at our home. If the format below is not to your liking, you can also view them online here. Enjoy

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