Merry Christmas

Today, Shannon and I are off to Culebra for a wonderful vacation on a beautiful sunny beach. We will be back on New Year's Eve.

We had a great Christmas with our extended family and within our family as well. The video is our time together last night on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas all and happy New Year!

Reflections on the Verdict

When people ask how we are doing in regards to the trial, my standard answer is "We are still processing it." I like that. It shows hope, or at least not despair, but also a little elusive. It is also true. Because we not just reacting on a strong emotion, but working through a process of our transformation.

Before this experience, I use to think that God used trials and tragedy to teach us. And that is true at a literal level. But teaching is what my college professors would do, throw a bunch of facts at me and leave it up to me to catch them and remember them. Teaching implies you decide if you want to accept the information. Trials, true trials, trials from the hand of the sovereign Triune God, are more than teaching moments. They are transforming moments. Transforming is something you don't really decided to act on or not. It happens from within and you can't stop it. You don't decide to accept certain facts or not. You entire way of thinking it revolutionized as your mind is different than before.

Another challenge with being transformed is that we don't know exactly what we are being transformed into. Frankly, I have no idea how different Shannon and I will find ourselves. Will we be more mature and wiser? Will we have a deeper compassion for others? Will we have a greater joy for each precious moment we have? Will we have a greater peace in life because we know life is short but eternity in heaven is much, much longer?

I don't know, and that is tough. That is the difference between teaching and transformation. With teaching, you have an idea of what you will learn and be able to do before the lesson is complete. With transformation, you don't get a blueprint of your new makeup. So we are left with faith. Faith that God knows what he is doing, that he has not abandoned us, nor is he surprised with our condition and response. Faith that he can indeed cause all of this to work together for good because we believe in him.

So as I finishing typing this post, I know not how Shannon and I will find up. I only know that we must keep the faith and we must keep doing the things we are suppose to do regardless of our circumstance. We must be diligent in our disciplines, especially prayer, Scripture and solitude. We must not forsake the assembly of others and the spiritual gifts they have which we don't but we need. We must not despair in doing good because a bountiful harvest is awaiting us. We must strive to love God and love others with everything we have got. Those are things God has taught us well on.

Verdict in Trial for Person Who Killed Shannon's Parents

On Monday and Tuesday of two weeks ago, the week after Thanksgiving, Shannon and I were in New Hampshire for the start of the trial of Grafton County vs. Joshua Shepherd regarding the death of Shannon’s parents and one other lady. Joshua Shepherd crossed the yellow line and killed Gary and Joyce Varden on their motorcycle as well as Claudia Huffman who was riding on bike with her husband, Rick. Rick lived but was badly injured. Shannon was able to visit the scene of the accident, place roses on the crosses marking the scene of their death and got to spend some time there at the scene.

We had the opportunity to see the scene, listen to some witnesses and get a much better understanding the accident. We talked with Officer Seth Cooper of the New Hampshire state police as he was one of the first on the scene. He met us at the scene of the accident, walked us through it and explained many details of the accident.

We also got a chance to see Joshua Shepherd. Through the trial, during breaks when we were in his vicinity and during his testimony, he never showed any remorse or offered any type of apology or condolences. While 25 at the time of the accident, he had already been responsible for several car accidents involving some type of causality.

After deliberating a day, the jury returned a verdict of guilty on 3 counts of negligent homicide and 1 count of vehicular assault. He will face sentencing next month, likely at least 3 years in jail before possible parole. I would categorize both Shannon’s and my mood as numb, a little surprised but also relief. 12 unbiased members of the jury heard the evidence and were in agreement of his guilt and responsibility for killing her parents and another.

As Christians, we pray for Joshua Shepherd that through this experience and upcoming jail time, he would change the direction of his life and find Someone who can offer both forgiveness and purpose to an individual who desperately needs it.

What I Want for Christmas

For the extended Meadors' family, we are drawing names for Christmas gifts. I am posting my list on my website since what you treasure reveals your heart. Also, if any other loyal reader checks this out, he or she is welcome to get me one of these gifts as an appreciation for my wonderful writing and how it deeply enriches his or her life. Here is my list with commentary.

1. Kingston DTI 4 GB USB Flash Drive. I think flash drives are just very cool. I move between 4 different computers, 1 work, 1 personal, Shannon's laptop and Shannon's office, not to mention different computers of various friends and colleagues, so being able to move files around is important. With 4Gig, I can load applications, music files and other things I want to "take" with me. Kingston has a good reputation. Amazon.com sells it for $25 dollars which is an incredible price for 4GB flash.

2. Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (Paperback) by Neil Postman. I have read several articles in Christianity Today where they reference the late Mr. Postman's work. I am pretty sure he is not a Christian, but his insight in to popular culture and the way is dumbs down ideas and as a result people is much in line with the Christian worldview of keeping yourself pure from the world. The typical negative reaction by Christians to our culture is on the more surface issues: sex, bad language, etc., which this reaction is not wrong. But Postman goes deeper in the way ideas are presented, manipulated and sold as good and true. Those are the things we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves on. Amazon sells this book for $11.20 but you can get it used around $6 (I don't mind used books in good condition).

3. Reveal: Where Are You? by Greg Hawkins, executive pastor at Willow Creek. New book out from Willow Creek that explores the false idea of more church activities equal more mature Christians. Here is a Christianity Today blog post talking about it. I admire Willow Creek in its willingness to always reevaluate and look where they can do better. You can get it for $13 at the Willow Creek site or other bookstores may have it.

4. A slightly boring but needed gift is white crew socks. My only commentary is that I have 2 feet and I appreciate them. If you choose this gift in lieu of my other cool gifts from my list, I will take it as a clear sign you do not find my writing enriching or wonderful.

5. The Very Best Men: Four Who Dared: The Early Years of the CIA (Paperback) by Evan Thomas. I really enjoyed "The Good Shepherd" with Matt Damon and Robert De Niro. The film looked at the early years of the CIA. This book is consider the best historical source for the early years of this clandestine agency. Amazon marketplace had several copies of this book in very good condition starting at $4.

6. How Bill James Changed Our View of the Game of Baseball (Hardcover) editted by Rob Neyer. I have always loved sports stats and good analysis on them. Bill James is the godfather of statistical analysis in baseball (and all sports really). Stat analysis is looking at the stat line and other statistical measurements and actually analysing them to make sense of how they truly impact the game. Classic case is how batting average, long the staple of what defines a successful hitter, is not nearly as critical as slugging percentage and on-base percentage. Some of my best memories from a kid are pouring over his yearly "Baseball Abstract" books. This is a book of collected essays on him and his influence. Looks very interesting. Another book which you can find for $14 or less.

7. Marvel Legends 6-Inch Maestro Hulk Figure. Check out this bad boy. You have to scroll down on this page to find him . Yes, I am still very much a kid at heart, and a geeky kid at that. I think this toy is really cool. Jacob and I like playing with my other Marvel figures, especially my other Hulk character. We have this reoccurring thing where I get the Hulk to drink coffee and fight with his Cranky the Crane from Thomas. It sounds a little weird just describing it in words, but we have a blast with them. You would need to order this online since it is no longer in toy stores, but you can get it for about $9-$10.

My Life as a Play: Inflated Ego

Setting: Jacob is sitting on Daddy's lap before bed.

Daddy: Jacob, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Jacob: I want to be a daddy.

Daddy feels very, very proud to hear this.

Daddy: Why do you want to be a daddy?
Jacob: So I can put you to bed and I can sleep in bed with Mommy.

New Poll: Rating Pregnancy

New poll is up to get your thoughts on pregnancy. It is for everyone, guys included.

Look at the scary dragon!

Last week was of course Halloween. It turned out to be the first holiday Jacob really got into and anticipated. He was excited about the Fall Festival outreach our church did. Not that he was excited about reaching out to a lost world, but only the games and candy which we told him was there. But he was most excited about dressing up as a dragon. Pretty scary huh.

We are having a baby girl!

We found out we are having a baby girl! After a day or two of shock, it has sunk in and we are getting very excited. We are close to settling on a name, but not yet 100% sure. Here is a video of the ultrasound. Around the 3:20 mark you get to see the proof of the womanhood. More thoughts to come on me being the father of a little girl.

Experience With a 1st Time Yard Sale

This past Saturday we had our first family yard sale. Even growing up, my parents never did a yard sale. As well, I don't recall even ever going a yard sale as a consumer. We were truly yard sale virgins. However, we have been convicted of hording stuff that we might use but frankly either never will or won't in the near future. With another child on the way, we thought it was time to clear out stuff and make some room. If we could make a little money off our stuff, better for us.

Our yard sale consisted of old stuff of Jacobs, both toys and clothes, various kitchen related items we got as wedding gifts (almost 6 years ago) but never used, several pairs of Shannon's shoes, a 19" TV, some old VHS tapes, a couple of coffee tables, my sister's wicker patio furniture, some of Shannon's Southern Living stuff and various other items. We totaled $235 in a 4 hour sale (8:00-12:00) and sold most of our stuff. We considered it a huge success.

For any other yard sale virgins, here are the lessons we learned.

Breakdown of Sales

We totaled 38 sales with half coming in the first hour. Shortly after we put of the signs for the sale, people were coming. Even after the first hour, we never had more than 5 minutes go by without someone coming by. Our largest sale was $39 to a lady who bought several of the Southern Living items. The smallest was a toy for $0.25. The average sale was $6.18. 6 sales were more than a $10, and 6 sales less than $1. The most common sale was $5 and $2 (5 times each). Prior to the yard sale, we got $160 dollars from the bank in 10s, 5s, 4s and quarters to make change. In hindsight, we would have been fine with $80. You might be able to do with less, but the problem would be the first few customers making small sales but paying in $20s which was common.

What Worked

My wife spent $20 dollars on signs and mylar balloons. She even cut out the letters to spell "Yard Sale" and taped them on several balloons. I thought it was overkill, but I really think it helped get attention to our sale. The direction signs she made were well done. Our traffic was really good. The beautiful weather helped, but the advertising was key. Also, we did not advertised in classifieds (print or online) and I don't think it hurt us at all. Just put your signs in good locations.

Shannon spent time on Friday getting the items on tables we borrowed from our church and portable shelfs we had. She bought lots of stickers that had prices on them (e.g. $5, $1, $.25, etc.) and put them on everything. With everything neatly arranged and clearly labeled, it reduced the time we had to exert in explaining items to customers and made their experience better. It was definitely worth the time and small cost. We expected a great deal more haggling to lower prices, but only a couple of people even asked for a lower price, and they were the ones making the biggest sales. I believe having everything well labeled and well organized gave it a more professional look, if that is possible in a yard sale, and made the sale more like a trip to a store, where you would not consider asking to lower a price. Since we are not comfortable in price negotiations, this was a big help to us.

We had a mixture of nicer stuff and more basic staples. We found the overwhelming majority are looking basic items like kitchen wear, clothes and children's toys. However, we had 3 people who came who were looking for nicer items, they all bought the nicer items (Southern Living and furniture) and were are biggest sales. I would not hesitate to put out items selling for $10-$50 dollars.

What Didn't Work

Not much. The only thing that we tried which was not a positive was selling drinks. We had read was that if you offer Cokes or bottled water on sale day you can get several sales. We got 1 at $.50. It was not a hot day, but it was in the 80s. People were there to get their bargains and get out.

What We Would Do Differently

Again, the sale went very well. Our goal was removing clutter from our 3rd bedroom which will be the baby's room and getting a little money from it. Mission accomplished. But we could have sold more things. Some people asked about CDs which I have many and I would not mind getting rid of. Also, you can rip your CD, keep the music on your computer and sell the CDs. This might be a violation of RIAA copyright rules, but I am not losing sleep over it. Like VHS tapes, you can sell older technology because for all the early adopters, you have at least 5 times as many late adopters who are still sticking to the older technology.

Also, a lady asked about old jewelry. We did not think about that. You have a few people who come looking for very specific things. You of course don't know what they are prior to the sale, but if you want to maximize sales and don't mind bringing stuff back in that doesn't sell, empty all of your drawers and look for what you would consider junk and try to sell it. You would be surprised.

My Life as a Play: Word play

Setting: Mommy, Daddy and Jacob are leaving Burger King. Dad remembers his teen years listening to rap music and speaks to Jacob...

Daddy: Come on homeboy.
Jacob [without missing a beat]: OK, homedad.

Do you known your American civics?

I saw an article about this quiz in the USA Today. It was a basic overview of American Civics and sent to Ivy league schools and several other random schools (including my alma mater Mississippi State). It showed how poor our students are on civic literacy. When I saw the numbers, Harvard scored the best at just under 70%, I assumed I would do poorly myself. Instead, I got 90% right, missing just 6 of the 60 questions. I guess this lets me sound old and grouchy and say "What wrong with kids these days?"

Your turn.  Let me know how well  you do.

Opposing a Book Ban

An article caught my eye today about parents pushing for a book ban for their 7th graders. As I scanned the article, I found they were talking about the book "The Chocolate War." Parents protesting the inclusion of "this filth" in the required reading list due to "its depiction of swearing, masturbation and violence."

In 11th grade, my teacher required us to read "Beyond The Chocolate War" which is the sequel to "The Chocolate War." BTCW has much of the same content which the parents are objecting to in TCW. It has less of a raw feel than TCW but is more sophisticated.

To this day, I would consider BTCW one of the most influential books in my life. Robert Cormier created a rich and psychologically complex world which brought out the ethos of the characters to life and forced the reader, especially a young reader who typically has been previous unexposed to themes of this depth including having to consider various moral implications and choices and then dealing with their consequences.

I respect parents right to disagree with the content of the school material required of their children, and I recognize 7th grade, especially thinking of some of the 7th graders I know, is borderline on how early to expose student to these themes. However, I strongly disagree with their objections to TCW as "filth." The parents are making a mistake of looking at the circumstances in the book rather than the themes and ideas presented. Now 15 years later, I can barely recall the swearing and I don't remember the masturbation, even though I am sure it was only mentioned in passing and not a main focus. The violence is more vivid, but not it its graphic details but on the psychological aspect of it. The main character encounters a great deal of persecution when he decides to not join in the school's "optional" chocolate sale. This simple gesture of individuality, it was not truly an act of defiance, lead to others having the confidence to express their choices which led to a backlash by the authorities in the school, including encouraging other students to persecute the main character. It climaxes with the main character having to decide how important is it to maintain his decision and what cost is he willing to pay. These are powerful and important ideas for any person to consider, especially young people coming into their own.

What I loved so much about TCW and other Cormier books, I have read at least 7 including BTCW and TCW, is that the main characters have to make a difficult moral choice, a choice which generally costs them physically, emotionally and mentally, and this choice does not typically reward the character at the end of the book. As a result, the books do not have what we consider happy endings, but I loved that they have emotionally rich and realistic endings. I don't necessarily leave Cormier's books with a big smile on my face but usually in deep reflection, deep enough that I continued to dwell upon the books' characters for years afterwards.

Great art is like a great life in that it should leave a long legacy. Last night in the hotel, I watched the cleaned-up version on TBS of "Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle" which is about a couple of stoner, goofballs who have the munchies and want to satisfy this with those little Whitecastle burgers. It has some funny moments, in a sophomoric way, and I laughed out loud a few times, but I will not remember this movie after a day or two. I receive and enjoy PC World magazine each month, but I joke with Shannon that I think they repeat the same issues every year, one on security, one on getting the most of your PC, etc., but it is OK because I don't even remember the previous month's magazine.

In my days of "partying", the days typically blended together. Somebody might mention about a great party from the weekend, but the memory is gone by the next weekend. Whatever passing joy arose from the superficial pleasure fades quickly. Once I left my pig pen and returned back to my Father's home, my life became incredibly more rich and memorable. Not that life is always happy as a disciple of Christ, but it always a great life. However, unlike Cormier's books, a disciple of Christ knows that eventually, no matter what the present circumstance and near future holds, he will no only leave a great legacy, but he will eventually get the happiest ending imaginable.

I am going to New Jersey

I am headed to New Jersey for a SAML workshop. I know, I know, you are very jealous. I will be there through Friday.

But here is something that will make you jealous. Shannon and Jacob are picking me up on Friday, and we are heading to Panama City for a vacation. We will be staying at the Sun Spree Resort right off the beach. They also have an incredible kiddie pool which Jacob will love. We will be back Tuesday night late.

Lack of Political Excitement

I rarely venture into the realm of politics for many reasons. But I felt the urge to make a brief comment and even a prediction!!! With former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson entering the Republican presidential race, early numbers show he has quickly pulled into a close second with Rudy Giuliani. By this account, most political observers seem to be thinking Thompson is an answer many Republicans were looking for. They are partially right. The reality is there is an incredible sense of apathy for Republicans on their candidacy. As they have looked at Giuliani, Romney, McCain and the rest and found them wanting in one way or the other, they are truly looking for Other. Somebody else, anybody else. The crop of candidates are extremely uninspiring. Thompson steps up, he is the Other.

But this won't last. There is nothing that really separates Thompson apart from he is late to the party. One of the analyst in the link above says he "speaks the language of the South." Gimme a break. Do they really think Southerners are that stupid that we are looking for a candidate who uses you'all when he talks to us.

If I was Thompson's adviser, I would tell him to say very little on issues. Stay blank so people like this analyst can color him in for the voters to paint whatever picture voters need in order to feel he is presidential. Because once he starts talking issues, people won't care anymore. He will just be another mediocre candidate. But he will at some point talk about his views and he will try to be everything to everyone and we will lose interest.

I realize this is a very pessimistic view of our current political climate, but it points to the fact that the need is not for one particular candidate but a change in the climate itself. Politicians who seek to serve the people who put them office and not get the people to serve them to keep them in office over and over again. Politicians who will fight vigorously for their ideas and their constituency but not fight for/against ideas based solely on party lines. Politicians who are humble enough to admit they are wrong whether with a political idea or moral behavior rather than lie and excuse themselves.

The only solution for this kind of change is the Gospel. Despite some Anabaptist leanings in me which resist any political involvement, I recognize Christians can not abandon the political realm. We must vote and be active when necessary. But we must not rest upon the political system itself to produce change. Nay, we must change the political system through the Gospel. Not to establish a theocracy or establish special favors for certain religious groups but to change the hearts of the people and their politicians to love each other and recognize the political authority they have is a gift from God. We must pray for our leaders, especially those who we see having different political views and different worldviews from orthodox Christianity.

Oh, I did not forget my prediction. In the last 150 years of US Presidential elections, 3 times we have fallen below 50% turnout of eligible voters. Last in 1996 when virtually no one though Bob Dole could beat a popular incumbent in Bill Clinton and turnout was only 49% . The other 2 times were in 1920 (49.2%) with the election of Warren G. Harding and in 1924 (48.9%) with the election of Calvin Coolidge, Harding's running mate in 1920 who became president in 1923 after Harding's death.

Interestingly, the 1920 election was an election where the only real political motivation was against the incumbent president Woodrow Wilson who was not running again. There was tremendous animosity against Wilson for joining the League of Nations and other problems oversees, as well as a sinking economy and various problems internally in the States. The presidential candidates seeking their parties nominations were extremely uninspiring. Harding in effect ran against Wilson and his policies. Sound familiar? I am predicting our current political climate will lead to a record low voter turnout of 48%. Depressing? Yea. Should we vote. Yes. Must we pray? Absolutely.

My Life as a Play: Disciplining Jacob and Disciplining Daddy

Setting: Daddy is trying to put together some cardboard boxes for use as storage containers. They come flat so it requires some bending and folding. Jacob is trying to help Daddy but keeps stepping on the boxes and the DVD boxes laying around which will go into the cardboard boxes.

Daddy: Jacob, don't step on the movies.

Jacob continues to step on the movies. He also keeps trying to "help" Daddy but this is not very helpful.

Daddy: Jacob, I told you don't step on the movies.

Jacob continues to step on the movies and "help" Daddy. Daddy loses his temper.

Daddy [in a too loud and too angry voice]: Jacob! I told you! Don't step on the movies!

Jacob curls his bottom lip, droops his head, turns slowly away and walks to his room. Daddy stays angry for about 10 seconds longer before he feels really bad about getting too angry to Jacob. Daddy goes into Jacob's room and sees Jacob curled up in a corner behind his rocking chair. Daddy feels really, really bad. He knells before Jacob.

Daddy: Jacob, Daddy is sorry he got so angry with you. He should not have raised his voice like that. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?
Jacob [looking up at Daddy]: I don't want to fight.

Daddy feels really, really, really bad. He takes Jacob into his arms and hugs him.

Daddy: Jacob, I love you. You know that I will...
Jacob [noticing a toy box next to him]: Look, Bob the Builder.

Life with Lexy

A few weeks ago we dog sat a puggle (pug-beagle mix) named Lexy for our friend Sara Beth when she took a mission trip to Kenya. We had been mulling over the idea of getting a dog since Jacob enjoys playing with the neighbors' dogs so much. When Sara Beth expressed the need for a dog sitter, we thought this would be a great opportunity to see what life would be like with a dog without the risk of actually adopting a canine and training it to live with us. Here is our video log of this 2-week experiment.

A Look Back at Jacob - His First Year

Jacob will be turning 3 this Sunday, and we have both a family birthday party on Saturday and another for his little friends on Sunday. I am sure I will have lots of pictures/videos to post from the weekend, but here is a look back at the video I made for his first year of life. It primarily consists of a montage of pictures for each of his first 52 weeks and a couple of videos at the end.

New Poll - Challenge of Children

I have a new design theme for the site. Let me know what you think. Also, a new poll on the right so vote away.

Acts 3 - analysis

It has been almost 4 months since I last did my analysis of Acts 2. I promise you have read my Bible since then, but finding time to read the Bible is easier than finding time to write about the Bible.

As I am focusing on the working of the Holy Spirit in the lives of the earlier Christians and how the Church made its decisions and created community, there is not much to report on in chapter 3. I did note one particularly interesting point.

After speaking about their involvement and guilt in Jesus' death in verses 14 and 15, Peter acknowledges both the crowd and their rulers acting in ignorance when they crucified Christ. He then calls them to repentance in verse 19. Essentially, Peter states they are culpable for the morality of their actions despite their intentions and knowledge. In fact, they were guilty despite a lack of a posteriori knowledge of their action. (Greg Finley, if you read this, let me know if I am getting too big for my philosophic boots and misstating this idea). Taking it to a more current situation, those who have never heard a "formal" presentation of the Gospel or have mentally grasp the idea they are guilty before God of their sin and must repent are still under judgment. However, we know that the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin (John 16:8) so our guilt does becomes known and we have an opportunity to repent. So we all, no matter our situation, are under sin. St. Paul explains the theology of this in Romans 1-3. This is so different from our world where people are always quick to offer a "I didn't know" as an excuse. Reading this passage reminds how strong and decisive and consistent and fair is God's judgment. This seems like the justice the God of the universe would administer.

Jacob's Preschool

Last week Jacob finished preschool at South Haven Baptist Church. Here are some pictures from his first day and his last day. Looking at these pictures brings strong emotions and vivid thoughts to my mind, and together they say far more than I can adequately put forth in 4000 words. He is Jacob Dallas Meadors, my son, with whom I am well pleased.

What a last couple of weeks

I have not make any posts in the last few weeks because this site was pretty far down my list of priorities. On July 25, my friend Tony Dorris committed suicide. Tony had a history of drug abuse and in a dark state believed some lies about himself and took his own life. He was a member of my Sunday School class and leaves behind a wife and an 8-month old son, Lake Hanson Dorris. His funeral was that Saturday, and the Pastor gave a terrific sermon both at the funeral and the following Sunday.

That Monday we went in for our first pregnancy visit with the doctor. We did the ultrasound in his office, and we could barely see little Meadors. Dr. Matt is our doctor and our friend, and he did not take this as a problem that we could not see our baby yet but thought using the hospital's vaginal ultrasound would give us a much clearer picture. Shannon and I dislike using the hospital's vaginal ultrasound because it is so invasive, cold and we have bad memories due to past miscarriages. I suggested we take blood work to check her hCG numbers. Matt had schedule two sets of blood works a couple days apart back when we first found out we were pregnant to make sure the numbers were going up. Since we had those numbers, another check at this stage could give us confidence in the state of the pregnancy. Of course, if the numbers came back, the pregnancy may be lost.

We had blood work done on Tuesday, and it takes a day to get the results back. Matt called me on Wednesday and the first thing he said was "I am glad I got hold of you instead of Shannon" which led me to the conclusion the numbers were not good. He said her hCG numbers were 10,000 which is higher than the 5,000 from the last blood work a few weeks ago, but not what you would expect at this stage. Then as he was talking he paused and said "Wait, that is 100,000 and not 10,000. Those are numbers consistent with a 7 week pregnancy which is typically too early to see on my ultrasound." The shift in my emotions were tremendous, and I breathed a sigh of relief. We go back in 2 weeks to his office for another ultrasound which should show us our baby. Shannon continues to have heavy morning sickness, including the morning times in Tennesssee, California, Japan, Beijing, Athens, Germany and London.

We then get word that my father may have a blockage in his heart. He has already been suffering from atrial flutter of the heart, but the idea of a blockage was very scary given his triple by-pass 12 years ago. I went up on Friday to be with Dad and Mom as they looked for the blockage. Thankfully it was a false positive. However, just a couple of days ago he passed out because of atrial flutter and had to go back to the hospital. Yesterday they shocked his heart back into rhythm to remove the flutter, and he was released today.

To add to the mix, my work last week was extremely frustrating and difficult. It would take too long to explain all the issues. Let's just say it was illustrative of the saying that when it rains it pours.

This week has been better, but I need to just catch up on little things after the craziness of last week. I have missed writing on this site, and I hope to get back to a more regular writing next week. I will talk about Jacob's preschool finishing up, our experience with Lexi, our friend's dog who we have been taking care of, and get to that survey of the 3rd chapter of Acts.

Let me leave you with some fun Friday reading on two company newsletter articles I wrote on industry profiles. Besides my Mom, Dad, sister, Greg and Tori who read this site, I have it on good authority that Lee Scott, CEO of Wal-Mart, Frank Blake, CEO of Home Depot and many other leaders in supply chain retail visit my site for inspiration in living life to the fullest, serving God with a cheerful heart and maximizing the efficiency of their B2B communication with their trading partners. Industry leaders, these articles are for you!

Need for Industry Profiles

XML Encryption Profile

Do you know your US presidents?

Take this quiz on naming US presidents. You have 10 minutes once you select the link (the page contains a timer). No prepping! Select the link and start. You must type in the president's last name in the text field next to "Enter a President's last name:"and if you enter correctly, say "Washington", it automatically enters the name in the slot of his presidency. Once you are done, post your results in the comment section of this post. I already gave you one answer, see if you can beat my score. I got 34 out of 43 on the first try. The pre-Civil War and Reconstruction presidents were hard, mostly because they were terrible presidents and not worth remembering.

http://www.sporcle.com/games/presidents.php

Speaker of the Day - Walter Nusbaum

Walter was a very influential person in my spiritual development. His strength was Christian apologetics and philosophy, but he was very solid Biblically as well. Along with some other men, I did a book club led by him for about 9 months where we read a variety of books of Christian thinking. Out of about the 30 men who started with Walter in the club, I was probably in the bottom 2 or 3 in terms of knowledge in apologetics and strength in critical thinking. As you would expect, I made lots of dumb comments out of my ignorance. But I hung in there. At the end, there was about 8 of us left and I never missed a single meeting nor a reading assignment. I grew a great deal through it, and it taught me to look a my faith in a rational dimension which I had never done before.

To this day, I would say Walter is probably the best teacher/communicator I have heard. If I had to pick one person to teach a Bible study or Christian class, I would choose Walter over anyone. I mean over Andy Stanley or Tony Evans or anyone else you can name. When it comes to communicating Christian thoughts, few are better than Walter. His breadth of knowledge, his charisma, his passion and his humor are so well orchestrated and focused around the ideas he is trying to get across that you get drawn in. Put it this way, when Prestonwood add a Saturday night church service, we had Bible Study Fellowships (a.k.a Sunday School) at 4:45 and 7:30 around the 6:00 PM service. It almost impossible to get 20ish singles to come on Saturday at 7:30, but it was even worse at 4:45. So, they stuck Walter at that spot and soon he was averaging over 100. Yes, a 100 single people in their 20s were coming regularly at 4:45 on Saturdays to hear him. Once Walter left, they left. My friend Greg and I called them Walter-zombies. They would follow Walter but that is it.

Now that I have so built him up, you will likely be let down when you hear him. But, I know you will enjoy him. He is just too good. Here is a sermon Walter gave at Ron Holton's church, who is my old Singles minister. It is called "Why I am Convinced of the Christian Worldview."

A Look Back at Jacob - 10 months

My Life as a Play: Jacob and the Giant Cookie

Setting: Jacob is sitting in Daddy's lap, and they are watching Little Einsteins on Disney early one morning. One of the characters, June, catches a big stack of pancakes.

Jacob: I want pancakes. Fix me pancakes.
Daddy: Do you want pancakes Jacob?
Jacob: Yea, I want some pancakes.
Daddy: Are you sure you want to eat pancakes?
Jacob: Yea, I am sure. I want to eat pancakes.

Daddy and Jacob go into the kitchen. Jacob sees a box containing a giant cookie cake on the counter which Daddy and Mommy had gotten the night before. Jacob stops dead in his tracks and stares at the box.

Jacob: I don't want pancakes. I want the cookie.

Buncha Crunch - I will miss you

You never forget your first kiss, your first job, your first love or, in my case, your first all-time greatest candy. As a kid, I really liked Nestle Crunch Bar. The mixture of chocolate and crisped rice was a delight to my palate. But when I tried their Buncha Crunch, I fell in love. It was the perfect candy. To me, it took what was great about the Nestle Crunch Bar and heightened it.  It was a pretty common item at the movie snack bars, but if I found it on the shelf at the grocery store, I would buy as many as I could.

But while it was the perfect candy for my younger self, I am now older and I must take into account different considerations. Namely, my health and my stomach size and my life expectancy. Looking at the box and its nutrition facts, its calories per serving are 180. That is not too bad until you look and see that the number of servings per container is 2.5. The box is not that big, and it is obviously meant to be eaten in one setting. That is 450 calories per box. Throw in a soft drink and we are well over 600 calories.

Last week, I decided I must leave my all-time favorite candy. I figured every additional box would probably take a day off my life expectancy, and when you buy 10 at a time, that is not good. So farewell O wonderful box of chocolate and crisped rice delight. I will never find another like you. I have written a haiku for you. Remember me as I remember you.

O so tasty good
But my belly grows too large
Buncha Crunch Bye

My Life as a Play: Jacob's Bedtime Delay

Setting: Mommy, Jacob and Daddy have finished playing together on the stairs. It has been a very fun time, but now it is time for bath and bed. Mommy and Daddy are at the foot of the stairs and Jacob is at the top.

Mommy: Jacob, time for your bath.
Jacob looks down at his formerly white t-shirt and then looks back up at Mommy, shaking his head.
Jacob: I am fine. I am not really dirty.
Daddy: Jacob, it is time to come down and take our bath.
Jacob: I don't need a bath. I am clean.
Jacob folds his arms.
Jacob: I am not coming down the stairs.
Daddy [in a more serious tone]: Jacob, come down.

Jacob reluctantly and slowly comes down the steps. However, he is quickly thinking of another means to delay the inevitable. Jacob began spinning around.
Jacob: My house is dizzy.
Mommy: You are full of funny lines tonight.
Daddy: But you are still taking a bath.

Scene fades with a pouting little boy reluctantly walking to the bath.

Vote my hometown as the home of the Simpsons

Shannon and I live in Springfield, TN which is just north of Nashville. With the upcoming "The Simpsons" movie, USA Today is holding a contest with the different “Springfields” across the US to find the “real” Springfield for the Simpsons. Competing towns submit a video of their claim as the real home of Homer, Bart and the gang. Votes are tabulated by the viewing public. The town with the most votes gets a movie premier of "The Simpsons". The link is below for the voting and the videos. I know several people in the video as well as those who produced it. I beseech thee to vote for our humble town. If for no other reason than that the premier would be at the world’s absolute worst theater. Our little 1 screen theater is in poor, poor condition so it fits the Simpsons Springfield perfectly.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/simpsons-contest.htm

A Look Back at Jacob - 6months

With Mr. Jacob passing his 34 month birthday this month, he probably has about a 1,000 word vocabulary and is now starting to progress with potty training. But this was not always the case. In past days, crawling was the craze of the day with walking still a few months off.

Gary and Joyce Varden (May 12/6, 1950-June 11, 2006)

They were high school sweethearts who were born just six days apart in Evansville, Indiana. She was the oldest daughter of a family of 8. He was the drummer in a band, and her parents did not approve of him dating their daughter. The were married at 18 and had their 2 kids not too long after that. They lived in the same house almost their entire marriage, the one with the single, small bathroom which everyone fought over. They were loud and not shy about telling the other what they thought but quick to forgive and make-up. They were not strong Christians when they married but quickly learned that Christ was essential for making their family worked. As other friends left their church for different reasons they were faithful, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Monday night visitation and Wednesday service and choir practice. Theirs was a great love story.

The video below is of Jacob's first Christmas at their house. Erik, Carrie and his 3 boys were there as well. Looking at it now, it seems like a lifetime ago but also a very recent memory. A doubt arose in my mind for the briefest of moments that they are not really gone. I can still recall their presence and spirit of the room when they were in it. Almost like I have just gone too long without talking with them. But the doubt faded quickly and I was reminded that I won't see them on this side of Eternity.

Their void in our lives has been very deep and very dark. Now that I lived this year, this year with where my beloved wife has cried and hurt so much, I have no illusions about what a trial really is. I have heard sermons preached on the value of trials, repeating Paul's words that we exult in our trials because they bring about perseverance, and perseverance brings about proven character and proven character brings hope in the love of God and this hope does not disappoint. In those sermons, I nodded piously at the wisdom in this statement. I nodded because this seemed so simple, like a formula for peace. I was completely ignorant of what a trial truly was and what life was like for those who actually experience pain beyond the tedious, daily frustrations we tend to call trials.

I now understand a trial is not a starting point for 4 part plan to praise God and being holy. I now understand a trial, a true trial, is a conundrum in which you feel completely lost and without direction or without a clue as to how to alliviate the gross pain that consumes you. I understand a trial makes you question what you believe about yourself, life and God. I understand a trial makes you want to go numb or escape because nothing seems to be as good as it use to be.

I now understand Paul was not casually giving us a little something to ponder but throwing us a life line because you are drowning in pain. His words are not to be spoke with a light air about them but in a voice like we would use to tell a person who fell off a building not to let go of the ledge because help is on the way. Just hold on a little longer! You don't have to do anything fancy, just hold on the best you can! If you can just keep your grip, you can make it! You can do it! The longer you hold on, the stronger you will become! You are not getting weaker, you are getting stronger! You can make it! He is coming! Don't lose hope; He is going to rescue you! And when He comes, and pulls you up, you will love Him even more than you did before because He has saved you! Just hang on!

That is of course all you can do. There are some good council on dealing with grief, and I believe we need to be active in our grieving, but you also just have to make it through and hang on to life the best you can. And it typically is not pretty or graceful.

Driving to Evansville the day after their death, Shannon got a beep on her cell phone indicating a voice mail. Cell phone voice mails tend to be a little flaky, but this was extreme. In this case, she was just getting a voice mail that was left over 2 weeks earlier. It was from Mom. She called to sing Happy Anniversary on May 25, her tradition of singing to us on our birthdays or anniversary. The voice mail captures both her love of her daughter and the joy in her life. When Shannon listened to it, she of course cried, but she also felt joy because she got an unexpected gift from Someone to help her hold on.

Mom signing Happy Anniversary

New Poll

Since I so desire this website to reflect the needs of my numerous audience, please reflect your post preferences in my new poll to the right. I have some great shirtless photos of me that I am dying to publish.

VBS...remember when

This week is our church's VBS. I was talking with some random person at the Kroger in our town, and I mentioned "VBS". She gave me a puzzled look, and I clarified "Vacation Bible School". She sort of said "ahh ha" and nodded, but I don't think she knew what VBS was.

That floored me. I thought even the pagans knew what VBS was. I figured everyone had a VBS experience at some point in their life, at least in the South. I looked up VBS at Wikipedia and found a weak reference. It does nothing to capture the essense of Vacation Bible School nor its impact both in churches and individual's lives. It remains the largest source of evangelism in Southern Baptist life.

More than that, it is just a great source of memories. My most memorable experience at VBS was in my 6th grade year. I was pretty mature for an elementary age Christian, and I expressed an interest in teaching the preschool kids at VBS. Hey, a boy can only make so many miniature mangers out of popsicle sticks. I was ready for something different. Besides, I figured I would still be able to go to the recreation rotation with my friends which was my favorite part. I don't recall exactly whom I spoke to or what I said, but I certainly meant helping and not actually teaching.

I show up on the Monday of VBS and low and behold I am listed as co-teacher for the 2s and 3s along with a girl in 8th grade. She came up to me with a look of horror and said "We are in charge of the 2s and 3s". I was stunned. I just liked playing with the little kids and thought it would be fun as a change of pace. Actually leading the a class full of kids was way out of my range and expectations.

As I recall, most of the mothers just dropped off their little ones with two bewildered teens without a second thought. I kept waiting for them to stay and actually take charge. Now that I am a parent I can sort of understand as you are so excited for a little break and just want minimal assurance your child will not be harmed. Me and the 8th grader were thought of as good kids, and it is VBS. 4 hour break from our kids!

Thankfully, a couple of moms stayed. I remember one mother being a little exasperated at us for being the teachers but not taking charge. She should have been exasperated at whomever signed us up. What was that person thinking? I was spiritually mature for a 6th grader, but reading your Bible daily does not teach you to change a diaper nor inspire you to do so.

 Then at the end of the day my friends who were actually in the 6th grade class kept telling me all their fun stories. Actually, they were fun in the sense of acting out in class and annoying the teacher. The preacher's grandson was the worst. It was at that moment that I began to notice a difference in myself and my friends in terms of our view of the church and spirituality. Not that I thought I was better than them or something ridiculous like that, but that I took it seriously and they did not. I was actually glad I was not in the 6th grade class because I knew I would be torn between playing along with my friends in acting out and wanting to learn and be a part of the class.

Not that I preferred being stuck with a classroom full of babies for 4 hours a day. Playing with the kids got old after about 20 minutes which was about as long as I had actually played with a 2 year old at one time.  I misjudged how much I like playing with little kids. Truthfully, I liked playing with them as long as they entertained me. But I held to my committment and helped all day with those crying poop machines.

Being my 6th grade year, I was through with VBS as a student. I recall playing wiffle ball with my friends on the Friday picnic concluding VBS and feeling sad that I would not be coming back next year, neither as a student nor as duped volunteer. Looking back, VBS, for me, was not especially memorable from a spiritual growth stand point. I was not saved during a VBS nor had some great lesson that changed my life direction. The crafts were a little corny, and I was not the type of person whom crafts made an impact on anyway. Heck, my favorite part was kickball for 20 minutes with my friends.

But I would not trade my VBS experience. I associated it with Summer and Summer was not complete without it.  For 5 consective days, you get loved on by a bunch of people, listen to the piano tell you to stand up or sit down during assembly, say odd pledges and sing funny songs you never do anywhere else, actually talk to the Pastor which all kids find exciting because this never happens any other time, make some strange but occasionally cool crafts, get all sweaty playing games and then cool off eating snacks and drinking a Coke, all while hanging with your friends without the confines of sitting quitely behind a school desk.

And in the middle of all of this you get Bible lessons every day, and these lessons speak of truths which tend to be forgotten from Sunday to Sunday but now as a daily influence seep into your mind, and these truths start to make sense that this Jesus truly loves you and that nothing in the world makes more sense than to believe in him and follow him, even if you are completely clueless of where he will lead you but it doesn't matter because if Jesus is at the center of something as cool and wild and fun as VBS, he has got to be good.

Day of Play for Jacob

My Life as a Play: Jacob and Pickles

The setting: Jacob is off screen rummaging through the refrigerator. Daddy is sitting in his chair with a cautious look on his face at the worry that can become of this situation.

Jacob walks in to the living room toward the chair Daddy is sitting in. He is carrying a heavy jar close to his body.

Daddy: What do you got there Jacob?
Jacob puts the jar on the end table next to the chair. It is a new jar of pickles.

Daddy: Do you want some pickles buddy?
Jacob: Yea.
Daddy: Are you sure you want to try some pickles?
Jacob: Yea. I love trying pickles. I just love trying pickles.

Daddy opens the jar of pickles and hands one to Jacob. Jacob smiles as he takes it and puts it in his mouth. His expression quickly changes as he sticks out his tongue and puts the tasted pickle back in the jar.

Jacob: Pickles are yucky.

Daddy laughs very hard. He thinks that it is little moments like these which bring such large moments of joy as a father.

5 Wonderful Years Together

Shannon and I celebrated our 5th anniversary this week (the actual anniversary is May 25th) by staying at the Whitestone Country Inn. They call it a sanctuary for the soul, and I agree. At the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, the location is beautiful. The weather has been amazing, low 70s with a nice breeze. We had a blast just walking the trails, playing tennis and ping-pong. I have found out Shannon is tough at ping-pong. I have given her the nickname of "The Wall" because she returns everything.

Our bodies have also found sanctuary here. Shannon got a facial and massage. Our room has a body spa shower with jets and a waterfall as well as a hottub which we enjoyed tremendously. The food is incredible. 4 course meal made by a professional chef. He actually made broccoli taste good!

I encourage any couple to take a few days down here. It is a wonderful gift to your marriage. Here are a few photos from where we are staying. The sunrise was shot right off our our private deck overlooking Watts Bar lake. The cottage at the end is a the Lion and the Lamb where we stayed.

Skyscraper Ride of Death

Shannon and I went to Gatlinburg this past week for her church's staff retreat. We decided to take advantage of Jacob-less setting (he was with my parents) and go to a late showing of Spider-Man 3.

On the way to the theater, I saw one of those mini-amusement parks with go-karts and a few big thrill rides. On a whim, I pulled in to see about doing one of the rides. They had a special for $35 to do a 70' bungy jump, a giant swing (not featured on their site) and a 150' Skyscraper ride which spins you around in circle perpendicular to the ground while you are at the end of the arm in a harness which spins from the force of the twirling arm.

I am out with my baby with no kid to come home to and I just turned 32 this week. I was feeling young and spry so I bought the special and headed to the bungy jump. It was my first bungy, and I enjoyed it. I admit when I first looked down and realized that I was supposed to fall face first toward the ground from 70 feet up that I had serious second thoughts (and thirds and fourths...). But, I told myself I could do it and made myself fall forward.

I liked it and would do it again but it is over with very quickly. I next went to the giant swing. It puts some strong G-force pressure on you, and it does take you parallel to the ground, looking straight to the ground from about 25' up. The swing was fun, but I pulled over to ride the Skyscraper.

Rather than describing the experience of riding the Skyscraper, let me show through a video they recorded. Notice my relative lack of yelling and smiling. I did scream out a couple of times, mostly to convince myself I was having fun, show others I was not scared and did not make colossal mistake. Shannon said it best that she got nauseous just from watching me on the video.

Understanding SAML

I have been quite busy this week with work. There are two interoperability tests I am ramping up for and need some test plans out this week. But I thought would add a link to my company's monthly newsletter which just came out and its main feature is a short article I wrote. One of my goals with this site is to become a better writer. Writing which is technical in nature is actually quite tricky because it is so easy and natural to be strictly technical which makes it boring which means no one reads it. The challenge is balancing the necessary technical content with a form and voice which is interesting and readable.

Here is the newsletter featuring my article on SAML. You probably don't know what SAML is, but this is written to explain it to a novice. In re-reading it, I found a couple of places which could use some additional clarity, but it is not bad. I always try to come up with analogies to tie commonly understood concepts to the lesser known technical points I am trying to explain. I pulled from my 11th Grade US History class for this article. Enjoy.

Take my new poll

I use Wordpressfor my blogging software. It is quite popular notably because of its extendibility through plugins. A plugin goes beyond the core functionality to add special features, like the poll to the right. I am playing around with some different plugins so you might see different things from time to time. I had to change my theme to allow some of them, like the poll. Eventually, I want to settle on a set theme or design but I want to play around a bit first to see what I like and don't like.

Speaking of the poll, I don't get too many visitors, mostly my wife, parents and sister. Still, I am curious who actually looks at this site. The poll on the top right is to gauge your relationship to me. I am wanting to test out this plugin to see how well it works, but I am curious who takes the time to view my thoughts. I do really appreciate your time. Thanks.

Acts 2 - analysis

As I alluded to here,  I am reading through the Book of Acts looking specifically for 3 things in the Early Church:

1. The working Holy Spirit with the disciples.


2. Decision making and church authority and the conditions which surround them.


3. The community and unity within the Body.

Acts 2 has the most famous expression of the Holy Spirit in all of Scripture. On the day of Pentecost, the tongues of fire rested on the Church and they were filled with the Holy Spirit. The disciples begin speaking in different languages which allowed every Jew in the immediate area to hear the Gospel in his or her dialect. Peter presents the Gospel and gives the first alter call. 3000 persons are saved this day.

Verse 4 has these first Christians "filled with the Holy Spirit". This work fulfills Jesus' promise in Chapter 1 before his Ascension that the power of the Holy Spirit would fall on them in Jerusalem.

As I mentioned, verse 41 famously depicts the 3000 that join the Church that day. Verse 47 speaks of the Lord adding to their number daily. When we get to Chapter 7 and the introduction of the deacons, I want to talk about the size of the First Church. It is truly a megachurch but "staffed" by so few people compared to our modern megachurchs. I find this quite interesting in regards to their size and the staffing they used.

While the action gets going in verse 2, a crucial component that can be overlooked is in verse 1...

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. 

I am going to start noting all references in Acts St. Luke makes to the unity of the Church as 1st Unity Reference, 2nd Unity Reference, etc. so we can see just how often this occurs. We had our first declaration in 1:14 so this is 2nd Unity Reference. The outpouring of Heavenly power comes when they are all together. Just as sin separated us from each other as well as God, the work of Christ and the empowering through the Holy Spirit unites us both with God and each other. Authentic community is insepartable from authentic Christianity.

No where is this better seen than in vs. 43-46:

Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart...

First, how great that must have been to be overwhelmed at the wonder of God. I would truly give any earthly treasure I have to be part of a church like that. To be honest, and I certainly may be wrong here, I am not 100% sure we can see something exactly like this again. This may be a unique case of an extraordinary work of the Holy Spirit because of God's ordain purpose for launching His Church.

However, I believe we could still see many wonders and signs and have a sense of awe within a local church in today's world. And these verses show us why this is not a common occurance because this type of community is so rare. Personal possessions are sold and shared without reservation. They are together on a daily basis, both in church (temple) and each other's home having dinner. They have a radiating joy about them. St. Luke points out the 3rd Unity Reference with the statement of "one mind" (46) but the whole passage points to their unity. I am waiting until the I am finished reviewing all the individual chapters before analyzing the book as a whole, but Chapters 1 and 2 already point to a critical lacking in the modern Church of too much individualism. The Gospel is flexible in adjusting to different cultures and different times so we don't need to be exactly like this First Church in all details. But this portrait of the Church looks so different from any Church or local gathering of believers I have seen. And frankly, as much as I would like to be in a church filled with awe and wonder, I would probably mess it up because of some selfishness in me which would grieve the Holy Spirit and the unity He has created. May the Lord work in my life to make me a man who not only longs for awe and wonder but is submissive and humble of heart to be of one mind with other believers so that we can together see the awesome power of God.Â

If you get up, Daddy is going to put your right back in bed

I recently posted the video of Jacob's Easter Egg Hunt. It is so precious and shows Jacob as the super cool kid he is. Those are the high points of being a parent, the ones that give you the energy to carry through as a good parent during the far more common mundane moments and especially through the challenging ones.

Last night, Jacob work up around Midnight and after approximately 30 attempts to escape he was back down for good at 1:20 AM. More so than most babies, Jacob has been a challenging sleeper. At about 4 months old, we were emotionally and physically spent. He would eventually go to sleep after 30-60 minutes of holding, but he woke up at least 2 times during the night and required a similar experience to get back down.

 

Our eyes were opened to a solution when reading  Dr. Richard Ferber's famous book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". Famously or depending on your point of view infamously depicted during "Meet the Fockers", the Ferber method was developed to teach your child how to sleep on his own. I was predisposed to believe Jacob would be a bad sleeper because I was one and have heard numerous stories of my challenging bedtimes from my parents.

I am one who needs to understand the mechanics and philosophy of an idea before I can totally buy in to it. Fortunately, Dr. Ferber provide some excellent research and analysis into his method. Most notable and important to me was his discussion on sleep associations. In describing a young child named Betsy and her sleeping problems:

The fact that she could fall asleep rapidly in her parents' arms was proof that she had no actual sleep impairment. There could be no inherent abnormality in her ability to sleep which would allow her to fall asleep quickly in her parents' arms but not alone in her crib. The inability to settle alone in her crib was due to her experience, her sleep associations.

This was a revolutionary idea to me and when you are getting less than 5 hours sleep a night (me not Jacob) you need ideas which are revolutionary. Jacob could sleep fine, but his sleep associate was being held. I had to break him of this sleep association and move to something else.

We followed Dr. Ferber's approach and in about 3 nights (Night 1 and Night 2 were hard) he was able to sleep in his bed as a 5 month old. He did need his pacifier, but it worked fine through early 2s. Shannon and I got rest and Jacob did as well.

This worked until a little before 2 1/2. At that point, Jacob learned he could get out of the bed and open the door and encounter freedom. He expressed his freedom of waking up Mommy and Daddy. We decided this would be a good time to remove pacifiers as their original purpose was to get him through the night and now something more was needed. Breaking that habit was not too tough, but we had to substitute staying in the room with him as he fell asleep. Shannon and I felt that would be a stopgap measure where once the pacifier habit was gone we would no longer have to stay with him to fall asleep.

As you can tell from the beginning of this post, he has latched on to us being in the room as his sleep association. We are now back to square one but at least with the knowlege this can be repaired. Last night, I told him he could get up if had too - I didn't want to make him fearful of leaving the room for good reasons - but if he was OK, Daddy was going to put him right back into bed. Which I did numerous times last night. As before, it will take a few nights to learn his own sleep association to get himself to sleep. Without an external aid, like a pacifier, it may even take the whole week. But by next Friday, I expect him to be sleeping through the night. If not, I am calling in DeNiro.

Look Mom, I am a public speaker!

In my first semester at Mississippi St., I took Public Speaking. It was 101 like course that all freshmen had to take. We were all scattered across about 30 different classes so you had to get some grad students to teach it. My teacher was a first year grad student. Let's just say I knew I was in trouble the first day when she commented that Martin Luther King, Jr. "I Have A Dream" speech was "a pretty good speech". Right, the defining moment of the civil rights movement, in front of the Lincoln Memorial and millions of people was just pretty good. How could my best even be acceptable.

 Well, it was...barely. The big problem was that the Communications School had a common grading system for speeches on a 1-8 scale. Why they use 1-8 is why Communications degrees are a joke. However, most of the teachers would give half points so you could get a 7.5 in delivery or 6.5 in content. But my teacher decided to stick with even numbers. So if you were less than perfect, like Rev. King was, you got a 7. That 7 out of 8 is 87.5% which means the best you could really get was a B. More likely, you were a 6/8 or even 5/8 which put you in the C or D range. I believe my final average for the semester was a 72 which barely got me to a C. I only made one other C in college. It was in a summer class of Electromagnetics II taught by Dr. Donohoe, a very tough but fair teacher, and that was high C. Yep, my 2 toughest classes as an Electrical Engineer was an abbreviated Electromagnetics II course and a 101 public speaking class.

I wonder how my crazy teacher would have graded me this week. I spoke at a Hardlines Technology Forum conference. HTF is the standards body for the Hardlines vertical. In English, they represent the Home Depots, Black and Decker and other building related companies on the world in helping them use technical standards and software to communicate electronically, like sending a purchase order electronically and what software they need to interpret it. And that is related to what I do with the testing of this software.

Here is the Powerpoint of my HTF Presentation. It is about undestanding AS2 and how it compares to other B2B transports. Again in English translation, it is the most popular way to send electronic messages between your business partners and here is how it compares to other ways of communicating with your partners. The end user customer is oblivious to it, but Lowes and most of these Hardline companies use AS2 in their business interactions.

About 25 people showed up, and I feel I did a good job. I read the evaluation forms that were turned in by the session participants, and most indicated I had a good grasp of the concept and did a good job presenting it. I would guess my grade to be B+ to a B. Much higher than the C- I got from my out of touch grad student teacher.

Acts 1 - analysis

In Acts 1, the Apostles finally meet the Holy Spirit. Of course, he has been here forever, and they have seen his work during Christ’s ministry, such as at his baptism. However, the Gospels record no reference of Jesus’ disciples speaking to the Holy Spirit or understanding His nature as God. Jesus spoke of the Comforter to come, but the Eleven seem confused at this reference. As with much of God’s plan, they did not fully grasp it until after the Resurrection.

 

In chapter 1 of Acts, we see the disciples and the Holy Spirit come together three times. The first is in verse 2.

...until the day when Jesus was taken up to heaven, after He had by the Holy Spirit given orders to the apostles whom He had chosen.

 

 Dallas Willard makes a point about this verse that I had not thought of or heard mentioned before, but he points out Jesus was addressing His followers in person as the bodily resurrected Christ at the end of the Gospels, including the one according to St. Luke. Now in the 2nd part of Luke’s biography of the Early Church, he speaks of Jesus addressing his disciples through the person of the Holy Spirit. See in verse 2 where Jesus gives orders by the way of the Holy Spirit. Thus, Jesus was teaching his believers that they could know and communicate with the risen Lord without his actual physical presence because of the work of the Comforter.

The dilemma with that point is that it appears to contradict the popular understanding that the disciples did not know the Holy Spirit until Pentecost. While I have often stayed at a Holiday Inn Express (in fact I am a Priority Club member there), I don’t want to try to be too smart and go against common Christian understanding. However, verse 2 speaks of the fact that Jesus was speaking to the disciplines through the Holy Spirit. Regardless of how that affects our understanding of Pentecost, that is great assurance to those who follow him now that Jesus can indeed speak and give guidance to us.

 

Verse 8 is quite well known as it has Christ’s general direction to the work of the Church.

"...but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."

 

As has been pointed out in numerous sermons, and we continually need to hear this, the Church can not do its work without the power of the Holy Spirit. I have longed been intrigued by this idea of power that comes from living in the Kingdom of Heaven. What does it look like? How do I know I have it? How does it differ from “my” natural power? That is question I am hoping to gain insight into from this study of Acts.

 

As I said in a previous post, I am most interested in learning how the Early Church reached decisions. We see our first decision in the latter part of Chapter 1. The key verses are 14 and 24-26. Verse 14… 

These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers.

 

Then Peter speaks of the fall of Judas, how it was foretold by the Holy Spirit in Scripture and how they are to replace his office. In verse 24-26, their method for choosing the replace is given.

And they prayed and said, "You, Lord, who know the hearts of all men, show which one of these two You have chosen to occupy this ministry and apostleship from which Judas turned aside to go to his own place." And they drew lots for them, and the lot fell to Matthias; and he was added to the eleven apostles.

 

Three points on this selection process. One, they speak to and ask guidance from the “Lord” whom I take to mean Jesus Christ. This collaborates with the idea from verse 2 that the disciples were learning they could communicate with Christ even though he was absent physically. So before Pentecost, the Early Church understood Christ was to be personally involved in their daily lives.

 

Two, the disciples were not quite there yet in their maturity. Hey, it’s pre-Pentecost so may be that is to be expected. But drawing lots shows they were still struggling to perfectly understand Christ’s voice and his will. I assume they felt confident the Lord’s will was either Matthias or Barsabbas, but there was some disagreement among the group on the pick. I suppose you could take it as an example that God’s will is not always clear, but I don’t think that jives with the rest of Acts and the other New Testament writing. We will see as we go through Acts. Still, drawing lots is more Biblical method for decision making then a popular voting, but that is a post for another day.

 

Finally, and what I find most important from this chapter, is the example in verse 14 of the Early Church in one mind through intimate community and prayer. I am expecting we will see this several times in Acts. I will hold off making more analysis until then, but this may be the key to understanding the Lord’s will within the Church.

What do you call a Baptist in an Episcopal parish?

A couple weeks ago Shannon and I attended St. Bart's in Nashville for their Good Friday service. It was a 3 hour service (we stayed just an hour and half) on the last 7 statements of Christ on the cross before his death. It was really good. One of the ministers, Dixon Kinsor, did a great job using atypical sacraments/disciplines to illuminate Christ's last words and His local presence. He had us hold hands (for like 5 minutes) for the uncomfortableness of dependence. Then we stood in awkward and slightly painful positions as we prayed for those who suffered. It was wonderful to put my body into my worship, beyond raising a hand or just closing my eyes.



St. Bart's is an Episcopalian parish. It is very evangelical and fundamental in its beliefs. It is one the conservative Episcopal churches opposing the ordination of homosexual bishops. I was first exposed to Episcopal worship by my friend Greg Methvin. Greg was a singles minister at my old church. Greg left this mega Baptist church to be the minister of discipleship at Christ Church in Plano, TX. I met with Greg after he left and he gave me a tour of the parish and explained their different worship style. He invited me to come on Sunday and I did. It was a wild experience. I didn't know how to react or what to do. People were turning and saying "Peace be with you" and I was clueless on how to respond. I did not know when to kneel, when to stand or what to say. But I loved it. I loved the emphasis on the crucified Christ and his last supper and his present presence here with us. I felt that the choir in the back balcony reduced the temptation to be entertained rather than worship the risen Christ. And finishing the service with the Eucharist with real wine - and boy was that wine strong - caused me to leave the service with my precious Lord on my mind. Whether it was because it was so new which prevented me from going through the motions or because it touched something deep inside of me, I really, really worshiped there.

But, I was called to my Baptist church and service there. I stayed at Prestonwood until we moved, but I kept thinking about the Episcopal worship. After Shannon and I moved to Nashville, a friend, whom I told one day of my fish out of Baptist water story, recommended I try out St. Bart's Wednesday noon service. This was perfect since we would not have to miss our services at Springfield Baptist. Shannon and I went, and we loved it. We were able to go several times before moving to Springfield.

My Nashville friend, Timothy Bennett, also introduced us to the Common Book of Prayer. Shannon and I both enjoyed the daily office, how it tied Old Testament, New Testament and Psalms together in a daily reading. The office also provided a structure for a quiet time with the Lord that included prayer, reflection, singing and Bible reading. We don't use it every day, but we still find it refreshing as a spiritual discipline.

I am proud to be a Baptist and proud to be at Springfield Baptist as an active member and don't plan on leaving. The Episcopal/Anglican church has tons of problems with its ecclesiastic hierarchy. I don't think I could give my tithe to an Episcopal church knowing part of the money would fund unbiblical denominational leadership.  Yet, my recent trip to St. Bart's reminds me that there are many ways to worship and serve God, and if we limit ourselves we can miss out on God's best.

It has also encouraged me to take up a challenge a friend gave me recently. We were talking about authority within the church. He suggested I read through Acts and note every time the Holy Spirit was involved in a decision, what the people were doing at that time and how they responded. I am going to do that. I am going to re-read The Acts of the Apostles and look for 1.) instances of the Holy Spirit at work and 2.) any decisions, good or bad, that were made by the church. I want to look at the situations surrounding both of these to see what went right or wrong and why. As I do my journey through Acts, I am going to record my observations here on my website. I am hoping to learn more of the Holy Spirit and how he wants to move and lead us as body of believers. Look for reflections on the first few chapters in the next couple of days.

Jacob on Easter

We had a great Easter holiday. Our church hosted a major community outreach for Easter. We reserved The Center, the larger public seating venue in our county, for our Easter service. We had over 700 in attendance and some decisions for Christ. Shannon did a great job handling the Preschool/Nursery classes during the service with 45 kids and 30 volunteers. I was very proud of our church to reach out with the gospel to our community.

Afterwards, we went to dinner at Phil and Evelyn Klober's. They are wonderful couple in our church. The Klober's invited over their daughter Amy and her husband Jamie along with their 2 kids, Jamie's parents and his sister's family, Micheal Lusby (our Youth minister) and his clan and us. There were 14 adults and 7 kids. The food was fabulous and the company was great as well. We did an Easter Egg hunt for the kids afterwards. The Klober's lost their son Robert in a car wreck at 17, and they have felt a special bond with Shannon after the loss of her parents. I am blessed at their concern for her during this holiday season.

Later that afternoon at our home, we did an Easter Egg hunt with Jacob in the backyard. He was of course incredibly cute. Check out the video of the hunt.

True Story

When I was a kid, I would dump out all my GI Joe characters on the bed or floor and create a Summer movie blockbuster with them and my imagination. Really. Not just bad guys fighting good guys. But I would set up a spy/traitor in the midst of one group. They would have internal conflicts with conflicting agendas. I would give hero and villian characters soliloquies where they express their inner motivations. I can't remember the details of the story, but I do remember I would generally repeat the same basic story over and over except varying it at different points. Improvements to the narrative. However, each iteration would slightly change the story, finding new twists my imagination would consider an enhancement. Over time, the original story would change considerably. (Except for never including the female GI Joe characters like Scarlett. I was too sexist as a 4th grader to have them messing up my story.)

I would always reach the end and prepare to have the final battle. And then I would stop. I would clean up my toys and go play something else. I never wanted to have the final battle because it would mark the end of my over the top story. And once I reached the end, I would have to make a new story. Even though my story changed over time, I considered it My Story. Not changed but improved. Not different but fresh.

Some people like making new stories, new starts, new adventures.  Other people like keeping the status quo and reliving it daily.  I am somewhere in the middle. I like to refine my imagination to keep improving an idea over and over, but I generally stay with my same core beliefs and feelings. I no longer play with GI Joes, but I do think of ideas and beliefs and play them through in my mind. Whether it is an idea for church or an analysis of a college basketball game or new business idea. There is merit in this. Never settling and looking to find better ways. Even when the idea is not feasible at this time, the activity of thinking through the process or concept can be worthwhile.

But I still struggle with closing the story. My ideas rumble over and over in my mind like a dryer tumbling the clothes, but I never, or rarely, put my ideas out there to see how they fit in the real world. My mind provides a sanctuary where the thoughts and feelings are safe to enjoyed but never to potentially fail. As child, I held off the dramatic conclusion because I liked reliving the same struggle and challenges of my imaginary characters over and over. No problem for someone with a $2/week allowance and a 9:30 bed time. But as adult, I have found this same pattern in my life but with greater consequences. Ideas are wonderful but until they are carried out or acted upon they are ineffective. In keeping them to myself, I am missing out on some possibly rewarding experiences.

In reflection, I believe this reveals an aspect of my personality which is afraid of failure. By putting ideas out there, they are tested against the cold, revealing reality. And reality always shows ideas for what they are worth. I might have to admit my precious work is not precious at all. But while there is a danger in putting ideas into works, there is a great potential for reward. To see ideas expressed, beliefs acted upon or feelings exposed fills them with life, and life can bless and enrich beyond what any dream can do. So my choice is this: does the reward of a life giving action outweight the risk of a failed dream?

This is where this blog comes in. A very open forum to put forward my hopes, dreams and ambitions. Not that necessarily any one other than my wife, family and a friend or two will see this, but you don't know. Regardless, here they will be laid bear. Here they will be tested.

Prior to publishing this post, I did a re-read and found my initial post a little on the dramatic side. Not suprising coming from the same boy who produced Michael Bay-like epics with plastic men on his bed with the Cincinnati Bengals sheets. I have taken risks and put myself out there. I am not vicariously living only through my unventured thoughts. I am proud of my life and my accomplishments. But I do know what thoughts exist only in my mind, and I believe some of them are quite good. Why haven't I shared them? This removes the barrier of means as writing is probably my best method for communicating. If nothing else, I will enjoy the experience. Snake-eyes, Hawk, Sgt. Slaughter, Destro and the rest of the Joes would be proud.